Home New York Famous 5 Pointz Graffiti Site to Become $500 Million Art Installation

Famous 5 Pointz Graffiti Site to Become $500 Million Art Installation

QUEENS, N.Y. – The famed 5 Pointz warehouse in Queens, widely considered the premier graffiti destination in the world, began an avant-garde artistic transformation when its walls were whitewashed in advance of being demolished and rebirthed as luxury condos.

The installation, entitled “Peak Property Value,” will have three phases according to conceptual / real estate developmental artist Jerry Wolkoff, who is creating the piece along with his brother David.

“We begin first with Phase One – ‘Whitewash,” Jerry told reporters and museum curators during a walk around the walls that have stood as the iconic capital of street art since the early 1990’s.  “The all-encompassing monochrome, completely erasing any trace of the color and vivacity that made this spot attractive to begin with, serves as a canvas of renewal.  And the rich white color acts as a harbinger of the demographic changes to come to this area.”

Phase two, or ‘Return to the Earth’ will commence sometime in 2014.  During what critics anticipate as an explosive event, the walls where lovers of art from any background could gather will come tumbling down in an instant.  “So much of art is ephemeral,” said David Wolkoff.  “What better way to celebrate the transcendence of the hard work of thousands of fellow artists by making it one with the earth, one with the air.”  The phase is meant as a tribute to all of those who made 5 Pointz such a desirable – and lucrative – property to own.  “And what more exciting way to honor those visionaries,” said Jerry, “than by blowing 5 Pointz to smithereens?”

The final phase, “Sales Associates Are Standing By” will entail the creation of two luxury condominium towers that will cost roughly half a billion dollars.  Inspiration for the daring, multiplatform piece came from a visit to the Museum Of Modern Art earlier in the year.  “We saw Tilda Swinton’s living art exhibit at MOMA,” explained David.  “So many people were captivated by seeing just a solitary woman in a Spartan glass enclosure.  Well if you liked that, you will love the 5 Pointz Luxury Condominium living art extravaganza.  Over 1,000 units of the wealthy and comfortable existing, growing, being.  Stylish amenities, exclusive address, breathtaking views of the New York skyline and just minutes from Manhattan!”

“And like all of the finest art,” said Jerry Wolkoff. “The 5 Pointz Condos can only be enjoyed by the upper class.”

Though many art lovers have been publically mourning the loss of the space since phase one began, Mayor Bloomberg promised that their anguish is not in vain.  “It’s all part of my ‘living art’ installation that I’ve been working on for twelve years,” said Bloomberg.  Bloomberg’s magnum opus, entitled “Gentrification / Now Move Away” is scheduled for completion on January 1.

5 COMMENTS

  1. What an Idiot to say I quote: ““And like all of the finest art,” said Jerry Wolkoff. “The 5 Pointz Condos can only be enjoyed by the upper class.””” Really you dumb ass. Anyone that is of any class, Lower, Mid or Upper can see the finest art in any museum around the world. One does not need to be just of upper class to be able to see art of that caliber! What a Retard.. and he supposedly educated. pfft Condos are Condos. nothing changes them besides location, but they are all in the same. Bombing party awaits this new local…

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