NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Subscribe
NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Customer Service
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Sales
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • Blogs
  • Entertainment
  • Today's Headlines
  • Uncategorized

You Won’t Believe These 7 Things That Have Absolutely Nothing to Do With One Another

  • July 9, 2014
  • News Lo
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

Table of Contents

  • Vacuum Cleaners
  • The Trilateral Commission
  • General Tso’s Chicken
  •   Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
  • Don Rickles
  • Newts
  • Glitter

It’s been said that everything in the universe is basically made up of stardust. Each and every atom is composed of protons, neutrons, electrons, and glue.

But let’s not kid ourselves. What does your toenail really have in common with the ocean? How can we compare a sunset to Aunt Jenny’s stinkies? Here are seven things that have absolutely nothing to do with one another.

Vacuum Cleaners

Invented in 1901, the vacuum cleaner has been dubbed “the first household appliance that literally sucks” by no one who wants to be associated with that quote. Thanks to the vacuum cleaner, humans were finally able to achieve their millennia-long dream of gluing a rug to the floor.

 

The Trilateral Commission

(Is that Uncle Junior second from the right?)

 

A dark, shadowy group of wealthy ne’er-do-wells, the Trilateral Commission was created in 1973 as another excuse to go on vacation and write it off as a business expense. Made up of elite citizens from Europe, Asia and North America, the group meets four times a year to discuss policy and commerce while indulging in champagne pool parties.

 

General Tso’s Chicken

 

Ordering General Tso’s chicken is one of the decisions you can make in your life. No one is denying that. Whether or not it’s a good decision… well, that really comes down to your own personal definition of “good.” No members of the Trilateral Commission have ever tried General Tso’s chicken.

 

  Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

 

Best known for his self-titled 1985 hit single, “Rock Me Amadeus,” Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was a composer who rose to superstardom in Vienna in the late 18th century, after marketing executive Scooter Braun discovered one of his videos on YouTube. His subsequent brushes with petty crime and substance abuse have helped solidify his image as a “bad boy.”

 

Don Rickles

 

Don Rickles is widely known for his clever brand of insult comedy. One could argue that Don Rickles and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart are similar, because they are both men, but one would be incorrect. Don Rickles is not human.

 

Newts

 

Newts were invented on the same day that unicorns were invented. Newts are poisonous amphibians. Do not touch newts.

 

Glitter

 

“Glitter” is a Mariah Carey film. Glitter is something you can sprinkle onto a glob of glue while decorating for the Sadie Hawkins dance. Glitter is a feeling. Glitter is what happens when a newt and a unicorn get sucked up into a vacuum cleaner with Mozart, the Trilateral Commission, General Tso’s Chicken, and Don Rickles.

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • 7 things
  • news
  • Newslo
  • Omg
  • Viral
Avatar of News Lo
News Lo

Welcome to Newslo! Our team of dedicated authors strives to deliver the latest and most important info on finance while infusing a dose of our own style to give you a unique experience. Whether you're looking for in-depth discussions on investments or solid finance tips, we have something for everyone. Our goal is to deliver you the best possible content. So, keep reading our articles and give us your feedback!

Previous Article
  • Today's Headlines
  • World

US Denies Spying on Germany, Recommends Americans Living Abroad ‘Eturnray Otay Asebay Aampcay Atway Onceway’

  • July 8, 2014
  • News Lo
View Post
Next Article
  • Politics

Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert Warns of Coming Illegal Alien Apocalypse

  • July 9, 2014
  • News Lo
View Post
NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Navigating the world of finance, one step at a time.

Input your search keywords and press Enter.