NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Subscribe
NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Customer Service
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Sales
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • World

Actually Deposed Nigerian Prince Struggling to Find Online Friends

  • September 24, 2012
  • News Lo
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

ABUJA, Nigeria — When Nigerian prince Clement Oxon was deposed in a military coup last March, he thought things could not get any worse. But when the ousted monarch reached out for help on the Internet, he was greeted with a frigid reception.

His Highness solicited assistance from strangers on AOL in getting millions of dollars in frozen assets out of a Nigerian account, which, due to rebel control, could not be touched by Oxon himself. In exchange for fronting Oxon a mere two thousand American dollars to cover routine, 100% safe banking fees, the prince was willing to split the laundered millions fifty-fifty with his partner.

But after sending this generous query blindly to thousands of “Most Honored Americans,” Oxon says he received only virulent hate mail in response.

“I really don’t understand,” professed Oxon. “I was polite, humble, even generous. Yet the people on this World Wide Web are just awful. The things they claim to have done carnally with my mother…it’s all very troubling.”

“I guess if he was some businessman or commoner, I would understand their hesitance,” said Kom Amil, Oxon’s personal envoy, “but this is the Prince of Nigeria we’re talking about! Does that not mean anything to people anymore?”

Oxon claims to have received only one positive response to his mass email, but when he clicked the hyperlink to the user’s PayPal account, he was re-directed to a Rick Astley YouTube channel.

According to Oxon, this incident has completely changed the way he thinks about human nature. “I used to think people were kind and helpful; that they would look out for their common man. And if they were not good-hearted, at least they could make rational financial decisions. But I guess when the deposed Prince of Nigeria writes you an email in all caps with the subject ‘URGENT BUSINESS MAKE YOU RICH,’ the world is just too busy.”

Oxon admits to certain strategic mistakes on his end. “Maybe I came on too strong including that link to free erectile dysfunction medicine,” conceded Oxon. “But I figured that would just sweeten the pot. Like ‘hey, if you’re not into millions of dollars, that’s fine. Maybe you’d like to make love like a porn star instead.’ Something for everyone, you know?”

Without access to his family fortune, Oxon has been forced to find employment for the first time in his privileged life. “I found a man on Craigslist willing to pay for a discrete encounter. As my email suggested, discretion is very important to me as well. He was very insistent in his posting that he is not gay, which is comforting to me. I think I should like to meet this man.”

Added Oxon, “What does ‘full-release’ mean?”

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • Abuja
  • are you being scammed?
  • chain emails
  • Email
  • How to tell if your being scammed?
  • How to tell its an internet scam?
  • Internet scam
  • Is it a Nigerian scam
  • military coup
  • news makeup
  • Nigerian Prince
  • Nigerian scams
  • Prince of Nigeria
  • spam
  • What are nigerian scams?
  • YouTube
Avatar of News Lo
News Lo

Welcome to Newslo! Our team of dedicated authors strives to deliver the latest and most important info on finance while infusing a dose of our own style to give you a unique experience. Whether you're looking for in-depth discussions on investments or solid finance tips, we have something for everyone. Our goal is to deliver you the best possible content. So, keep reading our articles and give us your feedback!

Previous Article
  • Sports

Replacement NFL Referees Review Third Down Play, Overturn Citizens United

  • September 24, 2012
  • News Lo
View Post
Next Article
Dora-heroin-smuggler
  • Media

Dora The Explorer Caught Smuggling Heroin Into U.S.

  • September 24, 2012
  • News Lo
View Post
NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Navigating the world of finance, one step at a time.

Input your search keywords and press Enter.