NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Sales
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
    • Life Insurance
    • Pet Insurance
    • Renters Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • Sports

Agent to Make Stephen Strasburg Cryogenically Freeze Right Arm Until Spring Training

  • September 23, 2012
  • NewsLo
  • No comments
  • 2 minute read
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Two weeks after the Washington Nationals officially shut down their perfectly healthy ace pitcher in the midst of a pennant race, Stephen Strasburg’s agent Scott Boras and Nats GM Mike Rizzo has now successfully lobbied with Nats manager Davey Johnson to force Strasburg to cryogenically freeze his arm until spring training.

“Safety is our number one concern here,” Boras said. “We just don’t want Stephen putting all that unnecessary wear and tear on his multi-million dollar arm now that he’s into his off-season. Who knows how beat up he’d look if he came back after a winter of using that arm to do things like drive, cook, type or do God knows what?”

Boras went on to gloat over his player-safety victory – the first, of course, being the arbitrary and restrictive innings limit the Nationals coaching staff placed upon Strasburg in his first season after Tommy John surgery. The limit forced Strasburg to check out of the starting rotation with nearly a month left in the regular season, with a return for the playoffs totally out of the question. Boras said that “although Stephen isn’t going to like it,” the cryogenic freezing tubes that will cover the entirety of his right arm and shoulder will be installed before the playoff season, so the tubes will be “the talk of the playoffs” as he sits helplessly on the bench.

Strasburg, who has no say in his fate or how he would like to handle his own 24-year-old body, said he hates to say it, “but I’m praying we don’t win the World Series. I’m not even gonna be able to act excited for my teammates with my arm in that fucking tube.” Boras said this was just as well, saying that “that shit is expensive, and the tubes are far from bulletproof. So it’s probably good he won’t be in the mood for raucous celebrations.”

“Look, I don’t think we’re really pushing the envelope that hard here,” Rizzo said, defensively. “If I really wanted to play hardball, we would have lobbied to have his whole body cryogenically frozen. I hardly considered anything that drastic.”

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • Mike Rizzo
  • MLB
  • Nats GM
  • news makeup
  • Pitcher
  • playoff season
  • Stephen Strasburg
  • Washington Nationals
NewsLo

Previous Article
“Since When Is Duct-Taping Someone Between Two Mattresses And Throwing Them Off The Roof Considered Hazing?” Says Frat President 1
  • New York

“Since When Is Duct-Taping Someone Between Two Mattresses And Throwing Them Off The Roof Considered Hazing?” Says Frat President

  • September 23, 2012
  • NewsLo
View Post
Next Article
Rockstar Games to Release “Grand Theft America” With Goldman Banker As Protagonist 2
  • Media

Rockstar Games to Release “Grand Theft America” With Goldman Banker As Protagonist

  • September 23, 2012
  • NewsLo
View Post
You May Also Like
Sports Broadcasting
View Post
  • Media
  • Sports

Sports Broadcasting – Its popularity and Impact in South Korea

  • NewsLo
  • February 4, 2020
Conway Calls To Prohibit Golden State From Winning The Championship Unless They Come Celebrate In The White House “Like The Law Says” 3
View Post
  • Featured
  • Sports
  • Sports Feature

Conway Calls To Prohibit Golden State From Winning The Championship Unless They Come Celebrate In The White House “Like The Law Says”

  • NewsLo
  • June 13, 2017
Russell Westbrook To Launch New Social Network Named “WestBook” Intended “Only For Extraordinary People” 4
View Post
  • Sports
  • Featured
  • Sports Feature

Russell Westbrook To Launch New Social Network Named “WestBook” Intended “Only For Extraordinary People”

  • NewsLo
  • March 17, 2017
Fiorina Compares Trump To Shaquille O’Neal: “Impossible To Hate Him Because He Beat The Black Mamba” 5
View Post
  • Sports
  • Latest Lies
  • Politics
  • Sports Feature

Fiorina Compares Trump To Shaquille O’Neal: “Impossible To Hate Him Because He Beat The Black Mamba”

  • NewsLo
  • December 12, 2016
Rep. Lee Zeldin: “Decades Of Peace Ended When Colin Kaepernick Invited These Muslim Terrorists Back To The U.S.” 6
View Post
  • Featured
  • Sports
  • Sports Feature

Rep. Lee Zeldin: “Decades Of Peace Ended When Colin Kaepernick Invited These Muslim Terrorists Back To The U.S.”

  • NewsLo
  • September 19, 2016
ESPN Paul Finebaum: “We Let Black People Participate In Our Sports, But Now They Think They Own Them” 7
View Post
  • Sports
  • Featured
  • Sports Feature

ESPN Paul Finebaum: “We Let Black People Participate In Our Sports, But Now They Think They Own Them”

  • NewsLo
  • September 1, 2016
Pastor Swanson: “Team USA Women’s Basketball Gold Medal Doesn’t Count Because They’re All Lesbians” 8
View Post
  • Featured
  • Latest Lies
  • Sports
  • Sports Feature

Pastor Swanson: “Team USA Women’s Basketball Gold Medal Doesn’t Count Because They’re All Lesbians”

  • NewsLo
  • August 20, 2016
NRA Calls To Boycott NBA: “Those Black Players Think They Can Shoot Better Than Us White Guys” 9
View Post
  • Featured
  • Sports
  • Sports Feature

NRA Calls To Boycott NBA: “Those Black Players Think They Can Shoot Better Than Us White Guys”

  • NewsLo
  • December 27, 2015

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy

Input your search keywords and press Enter.