Alabama SBOE To Put “Spherical Earth Theory Is Controversial” In Geography Textbooks

Alabama science textbooks will continue telling children that the theory of evolution is “controversial” even though the claim is not true, AL.com reports. The state board of education voted to keep this one-page disclaimer in biology textbooks, a move advocated by conservative Christians. The insert reads, in part: “The theory of evolution by natural selection is a controversial theory that is included in this textbook. It is controversial because it states that natural selection provides the basis for the modern scientific explanation for the diversity of living things.”

However, efforts have also been made towards introducing a similar disclaimer in geography textbooks statewide. According to the group, “all things anti-Christian should and must be removed from elementary and high school textbooks” because they are “further damaging the already religionless generation of children who will one day become the future of this country.” To that end, geography textbooks are first in line to be altered to contain a similar disclaimer that explains that “the theory of a spherical Earth is anti-Biblical, and is therefore, controversial,” since the Bible considers the Earth to be flat.

“We realized that anarchy and a lack of fear of God is a problem that needs to be nipped in the bud,” one member of the Alabama state board of education, who requested anonymity, said. “Today’s society is so far gone in its pursuit of material things and shallow bodily pleasures that we’re actually living in a country that allows two people of the same sex to get married and adopt a child legally. Think about where we’d be as a nation had we stopped that sort of Godless behavior at its inception. Not only would we not have so-called LGBT people at all, but we’d also be stronger and more powerful as human beings, united before God.”

The board member added, “So, we figured out how to solve the problem, and although it’ll take a few generations, better late than never, right? A complete re-orientation of our young ones is what’s necessary, and the only way to do that is through religion. We’re going back to Biblical values and yes, we’re saying that Pythagoras was full of sh*t” (Pythagoras was a Greek philosopher and mathematician who first claimed that the Earth was spherical in shape). “Next up is P.E. We’re going to exclude girls from participating in P.E. classes because all they’re supposed to do is bear children and obey men.”