American Apparel Fires Founder, Models Lose ‘Best Predator They’d Ever Had’

LOS ANGELES – Hundreds of female models have lost their jobs after the board of American Apparel revealed late Wednesday that founder Dov Charney has been fired as chief executive.

Charney was immediately suspended and will be formally fired in 30 days. With him will go his personal harem of female models, who have appeared in various stages of undress across countless advertisements in American Apparel’s 25-year history.

“We wanted to make a clear break from Dov’s misconduct,” an anonymous board member told Newslo, referring to the several cases of sexual harassment brought against Charney. “Part of that is making our advertisements less overtly sexual.”

These statements didn’t bring comfort to the hundreds of models that were full-time employees of the multi-national corporation. “With Charney gone, who’s going to create a hostile work environment for us?” one model asked Newslo. “Who will force us to model for nude photographs in our own bedrooms?”

At least one model sees an upside to her recent unemployment. “Don’t tell the other girls,” she whispered to this reporter, “but I hear Terry Richardson is looking for a darkroom assistant.”