Americans More Upset about Death of Animated Dog Than Those Lost in Storms, Floods

LOS ANGELES – A public outcry has erupted over the Sunday death of “Brian,” a character on Fox’s fictional program “Family Guy,” of the type formerly reserved for “things that matter.”

Brian, a hard-drinking, pot-smoking dog who was middle aged when “Family Guy” premiered 14 years ago, died in the show’s most recent episode after being struck by a car. That same weekend, at least eight Americans perished in series of storms across the Midwest.

“OMG! I can’t fuc*ing believe they killed Brian, he was my favorite!” tweeted FamGuyGal32, referring to an entity that could most accurately be described as a series of 1s and 0s combined with the voice of Seth Macfarlane. “This is the worst EVER!! #BringBackBrian

On Tuesday, as 100 Haitian migrants clung to the hull of a capsized ship floating among at least 10 of their corpses, fan club president Josh Hayes sprang into action, circulating an online petition calling on “Family Guy” to resurrect Brian and organizing a protest outside Fox studios.

“This is simply a tremendous miscarriage of justice,” Hayes said as China and the U.S. jostled for airspace and a security pact with Afghanistan looked on the verge of collapsing. “Viewers have come to know and love Brian as an intricate part of the show – of the life of ‘Family Guy’ –and for him to die just like that … it’s not, I mean, it’s not fair.”

Hayes added: “Death isn’t fair.”

“Family Guy” executive producer Steve Callaghan recently told E! News that he and his team “always make choices that always work to the greatest benefit of the series,” and he thought Brian’s death “could be a fun way to shake things up.”