Nation Shocked Members of Congress are Still Employed

WASHINGTON – With the fiscal cliff debacle, consistent bi-partisan stalemates, and the overall inability to complete a task, Americans are appalled that these idiots in Congress are still employed.

“If I came into my janitorial job at the elementary school and didn’t mop up the vomit, I would be canned,” said Ryan Martin of Fort Worth, Texas. “These guys get to take their girlfriends to Vermont, drinking Swiss Miss and sitting by a real fire with the wood, and the crackle, and the works, while I’m waiting to hear if I’m going to be taxed up the wazoo! Who hires these guys?”

RCP, Real Clear Politics, averaged numerous Congressional ratings polls dated until December 17th and found that 75% of Americans disapprove of the job Congress is doing. Americans also disapprove of the United States Hiring Manager by an even wider margin.  According to a recent poll by Gallup, over 92% of Americans believe America’s Hiring Manager has failed to a hire a single competent employee.

“It’s enough already. I mean they’ve had almost a year to work on the fiscal cliff and still they can’t get it done.  What do they have to do to lose their jobs? Those with the powers that be need to make a change,” said Sheila Rositini of Plainview, New York. “But no, I don’t vote. Like I said, those with the powers that be.”

According to political analyst Roxanne Dresher, there is a sweeping feeling of disillusion and contempt for Congress. Americans wonder how a group of supposedly capable adults can’t manage a simple task, throwing tantrums and crying in corners like nasty, terrible, disgusting children because they can’t get the poor little law their rich friends want.

Dresher said, “There is a deep-rooted sense of apathy and distrust in our current democratic climate that can make even the most engaged citizen throw in the towel and say, “Fuck it. We’re screwed either way.”