Rev. John Riccardo Supports Anal Sex-Ed: “I Usually Use Bagels In Kids’ Ears”

“A Michigan priest claims he successfully explains to teenagers why homosexuality is sinful by comparing anal sex to cramming a bagel in your ear. The Detroit Free Press reported that Rev. John Riccardo, of Our Lady of Good Counsel Parish in Plymouth, described his analogy Wednesday during a national conference on “Welcoming and Accompanying Our Brothers and Sisters with Same-Sex Attraction.”
“Speakers told each other that gay sex was destructive and insisted “it’s not being a bigot” to urge their LGBT parishioners to abstain from sexual relationships with same-sex partners. Riccardo said young people sought guidance on sex from church leaders, and he suggested that they try to frame the subject in a way teenagers could understand without being too explicit.
“I fully support sex education classes in schools across America because I think that is something very valuable for our children, regardless of their religion,” said Riccardo. “In fact, I believe sex-ed classes have more to do with practical instructions that mere theoretical teachings.”
The Reverend continued: ” “This is the question which is asked by junior-high kids: Why does God hate gays? And here’s the image that I use: I just rip open a bagel, take it and start cramming it into each kid’s ear. Then, I ask them, ‘What would you say, how does that feel?’”
Asked to elaborate, he said: ” “The kids usually respond by saying that the bagel ‘doesn’t go there.’But, I won’t be fooled. Just in case they weren’t being honest the first time around, I take the bagel and cram it down their ear canals once again, making sure to go deeper than the first time. Then I ask them the same question again, and this time, I’m sure they really hate it.”
Riccardo added that while his methods “might seem unnecessarily brutal,” they are nonetheless “highly effective.” “None of them will ever think about being gay,” he said. “If they do, they’ll remember me and the bagel and that’ll be a no-go on homosexual experimentation.”
The priest also stated that such practice should definitely be used in sex-ed classes across America. “It’s cheap, it’s easy, and most importantly, it’s effective. All we would need is an endless supply of bagels.”