Anthony Weiner Cheats on Six-Speed with Younger, Hotter Citi Bike

NEW YORK – Anthony Weiner, now officially running for mayor, was caught last week with his Citi Bike fob in his hand. In the now infamous photo of Weiner, he blatantly straddles a member of New York’s controversial bike sharing program.

The whirlwind of coverage following the scandal has been termed “Weinergate” because Weiner, ignoring the Citi racks, was seen parking the bike at a gate with no bank branding at all. Over the past 72 hours, he has put forth multiple positions, including that the Citi Bike was ridden by “a conservative doppelganger,” “perhaps his account was hacked” or that “a conservative doppelganger may have hacked his account.”

Weiner even stated, “It doesn’t look like me if you squint” before settling on the current stance that he is thankful for the continued support at home of his “loving bike of three years.” Although standing strong next to the mayoral hopeful at a press conference to address Weinergate, the bike appeared visibly distraught. When pressed for comment, the bike was unable or unwilling to respond. The two were scheduled to celebrate their fourth anniversary this July.

The scandal is especially shocking in lieu of comments Weiner made to Mayor Michael Bloomberg at Gracie Mansion in 2010. Weiner was overheard declaring, “When I become mayor, you know what I’m going to spend my first year doing? I’m going to have a bunch of ribbon-cuttings tearing out your [expletive] bike lanes.”

As Citi Bike only launched on May 27, Weiner may have found himself attracted to the bike’s asymmetrical frame and friendly blue palate in only a few days.

Additional affairs may be revealed as a spokesman for the candidate confirmed that Weiner has traveled before to Boston, Washington, D.C., Paris and London — other cities with long-established bike share programs.