Apple Unveils New Unveiling Technology

SAN JOSE, Calif. — Apple CEO Tim Cook took to the stage Tuesday in the company’s fabled California Theater in front of industry bloggers, technology fans, and gadget geeks to debut Apple’s latest innovation, set to take the tech world by storm.

With a flair for the dramatic, Cook gestured towards what looked like some sort of electronic serving dish cover. “I give you the future of product innovation!” He then reached towards the cover as if to remove it, stopped, and turned back to the audience, satisfied. “Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the iHype.”

The announcement was followed by a growing crescendo of gasps as the audience members took to their phones, Instagramming hundreds of pictures of the iHype and sending thousands of Tweets.

“Hold on, I think it’s working,” Cook added.

Pre-sale numbers indicate the iHype could move north of 20 million units in its first three months alone, possibly creating an entirely new platform which Apple’s competitors will once again be forced to replicate with less glitz and lower prices. Early buzz is good, with reviewers highlighting the iHype’s effectiveness.

“The iHype is highly efficient and buzzworthy,” wrote Wired magaine gadget blogger Christina Bonnington. “Steve Jobs’ legacy is very safe in Cook’s capable hands.” Engadget reviewer Tim Stevens agreed, saying “The iHype really gets the job done. It is exactly what Apple’s millions of loyal fans have come to expect from the company.”

Before leaving the event, Cook shocked the gathered technophiles with a surprise announcement. “I know you are all going to love the iHype,” he said. “But just wait until next’s unveiling of iHype 2! Your world will never be the same!”