LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Basking in the glow of overriding Democratic Governor Mike Beebe’s veto to pass controversial legislation banning abortions after 12 weeks last week, Arkansas state legislators quickly went back to work and passed a bill restricting the ability of mothers to choose the name of their newborns.
“It’s clear to us that women are not capable of making good choices and are determined to ruin the lives of their babies,” proclaimed State Senator Eddie Joe Williams. “Now that we made sure mothers can no longer kill their babies in the womb, we had to take the next step and protect these innocent lives from the permanent scarring that can occur from any choice the mother might make, including naming her flesh and blood something stupid. Like, say, Barack.”
The “Naming America for a Brighter Future” bill has gained incredible traction with the conservative bloc since being introduced, and passed yesterday in both houses over a veto-threat from Governor Beebe, allowing history to repeat itself. The bill penalizes women for naming their children with a $2000 fine and up to six months of jail time. Additionally, it places the power of naming the State’s children with a bi-partisan committee to be created at a later date.
“The choice of a child’s name is not something that should be entrusted with an overly-emotional woman who has just given birth. I mean those girls are all jumpy and crying when they’re on the table with their legs spread,” explained State Representative Homer Lenderman. “No, it’s the proper matter for a politically-crafted committee that has never seen nor will ever see the child in question. Preferably one made up entirely of men, who are better at making choices than women. The last thing we need is another damn Bryttanniey.”
“We don’t take this matter lightly,” asserted State Assemblywoman Mary P. “Prissy” Hickerson, “I’ve seen babies named Peter when they were clearly a Nathaniel. What was the mother thinking? My experience over the years is that when given the freedom to choose, women often choose wrong. It’s better for the world when a baby that looks like a Bobby Joe, is named Bobby Joe.”
74 comments
Is this real?? I’m having a kid in 2 months and I wnat to name him. I’m thinking John or maybe Patrick. Do we need to get them approved first? Please let me know. Maybe I’ll rush to have the kid before the law goes into effect.
Name your kid Fanacor. Fuck All Nazi Arkansas COnsertative Republicans
LMAO
What’s your problem? This is what you’ve prayed and worked for. Get lobotomized on Fox and let this insane people make laws like this about you and your baby. Too bad you voted against the Liberals who would have let you name your baby as you liked.
your not a very smart human being if you have to honestly question weather news on a site called news make up, which claims to be the best thing since real news, is real or not….
Welcome to Arkanistan.
Could you imagine how bad it be if Huckabee was still governor???
No man’s (or woman’s) life, liberty, or pursuit of happiness is safe while the Arkanstani Majelis is in session. If That Man from Florida was governor I would tell my kids to move to Massachusetts.
Massachusetts?????
It is called Newslo because it is MadeUp….Like Fox news
Fox News isn’t made up though Brenda, you must be a crony for the liberal media.
Joanne, you’re an idiot…
No David, you are an idiot. You see stupid liberal argumentor, when you don’t have facts you just are talking bad about a person. No argument so you lie. Hannity told me last night about your kind.
^ Learn to construct a sentence properly, then I’ll talk to you. Refer to my previous comment…
David, your just not all informed!!! End of story!! David, you obviously are member of the liberal elite. Get off your couch sometimes and turn on fox for FAIR AND BALANCED NEWS, not that jibber jabber you watch.
@a104320de465e902ae60f113f7d0fd07:disqus Either your a troll or an idiot, or both.
* you’re
DAVE, r u one of those people who think they know da language but don’t?? It sure seems like it. You’re?? Who da hell says “you’re”??? You’re Idiot, does that even make sense? Liberal!!!
Ha!! You really are an idiot! You don’t even understand correct grammar!
No Brenda your the libral idiot!!! I can’t wait to call into Rush tomorrow and tell him about you. He’s so right about libral’s and their failings to make argumentsa. When you cant handle the facts you just demean da peopl. Brenda it’s going to be okay.
XD, Joanne, you’re killing in here. Though clearly not a lot of people have caught on to your game. 😉
@facebook-100003623195657:disqus WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?? What do you watch MSNBULLSHIT? Hannity speaks the truth and thats why you don’t like him.
Sean Insanity has never spoken the truth in his entire life,nor has Bill O`Really,Rush Limpjaw,or Glen”I want my Mommy”Beck!
Guys, I’m still thinking this is a spoof and not a real person’s feelings or thoughts. “I can’t wait to call into Rush tomorrow to tell him about you.” This sounds very much like a canned commentary. I don’t think people threaten to “tell on you” to Rush…
Try again, Joanne. Here’s a cheat sheet – you’re, liberal, arguments, can’t, the, people.
Joanne is a Nazi! Deprogram yourself from the Fox Nazi Channel soon.
@Dave your what we at Fox call a Stupid blind liberal. Have a good one!
Congratz on the successful April Fool’s Day joke. You sure fooled a lot of people.
You go and enjoy those Nazi rallies. Heil Hitler! Nazi biotch.
But, Joanne, you do have a problem with the language: spelling, punctuation, sentence structure. That doesn’t necessarily make you ignorant or stupid; more likely, you are rather uneducated which is completely different.
really
@facebook-531767393:disqus Really? Go get a life you liberal.
Hey, you guys, do you think Joanne is just a troll making this stuff up as she goes along? I’m not sure this is a “real” person… you know what I mean? She’s regurgitating Fox propaganda is an unreal way… I don’t know about this. Seems a little too pat for me.
It is probably Sean Hannity’s alt.
Joanne, I am not part of the liberal elite and even I know Fox News tells lies. I have seen it. They even won a court case that allowed them to tell lies.
You are lost Joanne. Your counseling sessions with Mr. Hannity are nothing short of malpractice.
HANNITY??? lol LMAO
If you listen to fox (the Nazi news channel) you are the one without the facts.
Joanne……shut yer GOB…you’re just embarassing yourself
Joanne, you ARE an idiot. And a gullible one at that.
Joanne: FOX is so full of made up stuff they have become the prime contributor of that comedy show “The Daily Report” and the farm review “Picking up last night’s bullshit”.
Y’all can you not recognize satire when it is standing on your toes? Funny stuff Joanne, but you gotta take the fish off the hook now …
oh my gosh! Fox “News” is so made up that other Countries won’t allow it to broadcast. Canada for one because they say it is a news commentary show not a News station. BIG difference!
@facebook-100000251494649:disqus Candada? Your bringing in Canadia that’s like not even a real country. You probably are part french Tina.
LMAO… see what I mean? “She” can’t spell and the remarks are idiotic. Someone is playing us….
or you could actually call the country by its proper name CANADA not your made up only in murica bull shit name for it. Its not canadia nor will it ever be….
frigging nit wit
seriously, this can’t be real!!!! Did we just regress 1000 years…WTF
April Fools Day?
XD It’s a good one, whatever it is.
Is this the Onyun ?
Joanne, you cracked me up.
Happy April Fool’s Day!
It’s clear to me that people like Mary Prissy Hickerson should have been given an IQ test before she was allowed to represent her state and cause such monumental embarrassment to the people she represents. And how does she dare to presume to tell women how to name their babies.
You’re means You are, Your means Your… I can’t quite put off the effect I want in text, but you get the idea…… Joanne Stevenson is a troll.
Your is opposite to mine.
You know things are bad when satire is mistaken for reality.
Things are bad, aren’t they. Whats scariest about this is that it’s expected. That in itself is the worst.
Great satire!!! Sharing on The Platzner Post Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ThePlatznerPost,and Twitter https://twitter.com/ThePlatznerPost
O well maybe someone with commen since can name the child! Instead of something that u can’t pronounce or say!! These names are getting more ignorant every day!!! Yes you can name your child a different name than most common names but there is such a thing as to far or plain stupidity!
Well looks like we’ve found another dumb ass racist prick cowerd but that’s ok who ever made this page and who ever agrees with it will defiantly get what’s coming to them
Sorry typo common sense
I don’t give a sh** if this is real or not; the government better face up to the facts that this BS that they’ve been doing lately to force more control over the people is NOT going to hold up. This is AMERICA – WE have our OWN voices and will stand up for what’s right!
Let some dipsh** try this with me or my kids… they’ll never be able to have kids themselves! 🙂
Heres what gets me, All of you think this is real and are running your mouths about politics now, lol, Heres my contribution, If you think this is real you should not be discussing politics or voting. IDIOTS.
Watch as one of the genius Fox News anchors reads this & then does a segment on it. In favor of it of course because it mentioms “Barack” as one of the outlawed names. Hahahahaha. Now that’s entirely possible.
SATIRE
Is this for real?
This better not be real it is crazy to me…. There is real stuff out here in this world that the government needs to focas on. Why do you have time to come up with something stupid but you haven’t figured out how to help children that are homeless or hungry or beaten? But, you have time to tell us that we can not name our children and that we can face jail time for it but people are out here killing folks getting away with it. Excuse my language but get the f*** out of here with that. If the good lord blesses me with another child I WILL NAME IT YOU WILL NOT TAKE THAT FROM ME….
Hell, if they keep going, ALL the babies born in Arkansas will have the last name of Duggar…….so, there’s no issue unless they run out of ‘J’ names.
I think it is Norway, where the government has a list of allowable names and you cannot name your child anything but what is on their accepted list. That was in the news in the recent past as a woman wanted to name her daughter something other than what was on the list.
Also in America, the government has stepped in in the 1970’s numerous times to not allow the mother/parents to name their child what they wanted. Example that was true case, woman wanted to name her twins, Syphilis and Gonorrhea. Must have been the extra gift from the father.
Real or not most moms have thought long and hard what they want to name their child. Everyone is different and they are not all going to agree on what names they like. Hell parents have a hard enough time agreeing without someone else stepping in.
What they obviously aren’t putting into consideration is that names are often/usually picked weeks to months before the baby is born, by both mother and father. Taking more rights away the dick heads.
This has to be a hoax! It it’s not….then let’s get these idiots out of office.
This must be a joke.
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