“I love places with old scenery and maybe some squalor, like especially crumbling walls, and there’s definitely a lot of that to see here. It only gets better the longer we stay!”
Carlson admitted that Festivus is “probably the aspect of Seinfeld most offensive to Jesus,” but said that she knew well before “The Strike” aired that it was an “un-American and immoral show.”
“They’ll use anything, these Muslims,” Leber explained. “Soccer jerseys, old flags, Christian babies. Really, anything they can get their hands on.”
Many of Broun’s political opponents have attacked the congressman for his recent statements and accused him of employing “idiot-grade logic,” but Broun maintains that his position is “perfectly reasonable.”
News that some priests will be openly identifying as Marxist has upset many Catholics, particularly in the United States. Bill Donahue, president of the Catholic League, said that it might be the “final straw.”
Ann Coulter argued that her plan to arrest and hopefully deport soccer fans would solve many of America’s woes.
“He’s been totally wiped out,” she reported to her daughter. “He’s down to only three houses, and only one is a penthouse in Manhattan. I feel for him—what will his family think when he starts collecting welfare?”
Let’s face it. With this bike, Harley-Davidson is turning thousands of us into transsexuals. Because everyone knows: No combustion engine means no penis, literally.