“The liberal Miss America judges won’t say this – but Miss Kansas lost because she actually represented American values. #missamerica,” tweeted Todd Starnes, host of the widely heard Fox News and Commentary radio program.
“Yes Sir,” he added. “If you’re gonna get your freak on but want to stay in politics, you need to be a Republican.”
When asked to specify what the charges against Obama might be, Flores refused to answer, stating, “Yeah, we’re still working on that.”
“George was running around, waving his gun like a madman, and telling me he was ready to ‘go all Trayvon’ on me,” said Shelia Zimmerman, who filed for divorce from her husband just last week.
Rodman then added. “Which I guess would make it my responsibility to fix that whole Jew-Arab thing over there in Iraq or wherever.”
“When you gas kids with chemical weapons, you are violating international laws which forbid the use of such horrific weapons,” he explained. “But there’re no laws against drone strikes. None. I’m serious, we looked.”
“I agree,” said Juror 53H, a white male in his late 60s. “He really seemed to be pulling for the prosecution. I think I caught him mouthing the words ‘fry the bastard’ at one point.”
“I hope this teaches you that the next time you choose to rape a young girl 35 years your junior you make sure she knows how to keep her mouth shut so we don’t have to go through all this crap.”