“Without adequate trust in our sperm banking system, we can kiss the next generation goodbye,” said Burbank.
“Nothing demonstrates high levels of consumer confidence quite like the purchase of questionable big-ticket items,” claimed Dimon.
Workers in the footage can be seen suckling on Kim’s discarded sweat rags for sustenance.
“Heads will roll at NPR,” Holder reportedly threatened. “If Terry Gross was behind this report, so help me God, I’ll chase her to the gates of hell!”
The vaunted title also puts young Charlotte in line to anchor “Meet the Press,” should Chuck Todd fail to catch up to his competitors in the ratings.
“Sure, my wife risks growing facial hair and my children risk early puberty if they are accidentally exposed to my AndroGel, but I’m a man. I’m supposed to take unnecessary risks on behalf of my family.”
Before he accepts an apology from his wife, Judge Fuller suggested that “Kelli needs to work on her own issues first.”
“The least we can do is mandate that the child still has a good 18 years to knock a few things off her bucket list before she’s aborted—like having her first period, attending prom, and voting Republican in her first election.”