WASHINGTON — Representative Michele Bachmann (R-MN) today tearfully held a press conference where she claimed LGBT activists pressured her into a sexual relationship with another woman against her will.
“The gays have had their sights set on me for quite a while,” she said through tears. “And last week, they got me.”
She said the pressure mounted after Arizona Republican Governor Jan Brewer vetoed SB 1062 last month. The bill would have allowed business to refuse service to gay people in the name of religious freedom. She claimed the veto illustrated how LGBT activists have “bullied” voters and politicians. “The gay community, they have so bullied the American people, and they’ve so intimidated politicians. The politicians fear them, so that they think they get to dictate the agenda everywhere,” she said. “And they’re not happy with gaining rights. Oh no, they are determined to make us all try the gay, if only for one night.”
According to Bachmann, when news of Brewer’s veto reached her office, a number of gay individuals set up vigil outside, chanting loudly and taunting the conservative politician. “They called me names and said I wasn’t a real woman until I’d had intimate relations with someone of my own gender,” she claimed. “I simply couldn’t take the abuse any more, so I allowed one of the gentler-looking women outside my door to enter my office and then… God help me, I just wanted them to stop calling me names.
“If only [Jan] Brewer hadn’t vetoed that bill,” she added.
Bachmann hopes that by coming out with her story, she’ll empower others to step forward and admit to being bullied by gay people. “I believe that tolerance is a two-way street and we need to respect everyone’s rights,” Bachmann said. “Right now, there’s a terrible intolerance afoot in the United States, and it’s against people who hold sincerely held religious beliefs that gay people are less than human and should be shunned.
“A true democracy would let people openly discriminate against gay people if they want to, not force them into sexual relationships they neither want nor fully understand.”
64 comments
This bitch is certifiably crazy. How dare this deranged idiot insult people’s intelligence like this.It’s obvious that she and her husband are closet cases. She doesn’t belong in politics. She belongs in a laboratory being studied. Fake ass looney toon!!!!!
Only assuming this is satire. Good job. Laughed so hard I really had tears rolling.
It has to be a joke… still, I’m laughing so hard……
No self-respecting lesbian would ever get near Batshit crazy Bachmann. None, Nada.
Who knows what kind of disease this ignorant woman has? She is so desperate for attention that one has to believe her own husband won’t touch her. So now she’s after lesbians. They’d kick her lying ass right to the gutter.
Satire. That’s what “Show facts” and “Hide facts” buttons above are there for, so none of you has to be concerned that it WASN’T satire, lololol….
I’m gonna be a little crass here & say, “I wish I could’ve been a fly on the wall when that chick made her pull out her own tongue & lick the pussy
Folk I believe this piece with tongue and pen in cheek….
Even funnier than the material are the people who don’t recognize satire.
What a LOAD of REPUBLICAN POOP ! Does she really think that in todays society people are going to fall for that. How desperate can she be. How vain must she be??????
WHAT A LOAD !
This has to be an Onion- like farse ,otherwise this moron is even dumber than I thought!~
Lucky for Michele, the poodle declined
BS. How was it Sarah?Maybe that is why you are so wack-a-doodle.Just come out of the closet! We don’t give a rats ass or toe nail about your sex life.
This is the funniest shit I’ve ever read. I know it’s satire. But it’s a good one.
lets get some BIG fun and make fun of HOPE and CHANGE … just a few wars … and executive orders padded .. patriot act strengthened …. we are toast if you all keep fighting amnongst each other … vote them all out … green party …. dr suess party … any but a D or R
but if jon stewart can tell the news so can any one in the name of fun … how about going after other journalist who stood by why JFK was killed … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdMbmdFOvTs
how dose someone make you gay by calling you names, if they stop calling you names are you still gay, people. people see her for who she is, Bachmann a twisted sister mentally
This can’t be a real story. It reads lime a porn scene.
Oh, ha, ha! Tell me you did not love it! If you were not attracted, no pressure would have worked?
I can hear her now… “Carrie’s” Mom said AND I LIKE IT!
MENTALLY DISTURBED.
SHE’S LYING HER ASS OFF.
Satire at is’t finest. The truth though might be that of the lesbians I know, none of them would touch BAchman with a ten foot pole. Maybe with a ten foot taser though. 🙂 Have a funny day.
This woman is deranged. Good grief get rid of her.
What A Bunch Of BS! So They Pressured Her Into A Lesbian Tryst…With A Gentler Looking Woman! This is as about ttrue as the Texas Girl taking that shot and then being” Mentally retarded!”
What???? I agree there is an agenda going on and I’m just as sick as anyone with their in-your-face tactics, but, she was “pressured” into a lesbian relationship? Is she trying to say she had sex with the chick? Sorry Bachmann, you lost me on this one. If you can’t handle this, you should not be in public office.
How stupid does she think people are? If namecalling really bothered her, she wouldn’t have become a politician. If she can’t get real, could she at least get plausible?!
If she wants us to feel sorry for her she failed.Dosen’t her husband ( the docker) get paid by the government to return the gays to “normal” Or is the story line here I gave head for the gipper?
As my Grandma would say “She ain’t quite right”… Whoa..
liar
That anyone could read this and believe it to be true says far more than anything in the article itself.
That anyone could read this and believe it to be true says far more than anything in the article itself.
Lol…funny stuff
Lol…funny stuff
Don’t flatter yourself Michelle BS Bachmann, no self-respecting lesbian would want anything to do with you…
OMG, she sounds even dumber than Sarah!
she is full of crap, i think. she’s jerking peoples chains
she is full of crap, i think. she’s jerking peoples chains
Marcus is gay, he is not a woman!
nobody wants sex with her; his is so much crap
nobody wants sex with her; his is so much crap
Here is the tip off that it is a total lie:
“there’s a terrible intolerance afoot in the United States, and it’s against people who hold sincerely held religious beliefs that gay people are less than human and should be shunned.”
Nobody thinks they are less than human. That is clearly a LGBT talking point they carelessly slipped in there.
Here is the tip off that it is a total lie:
“there’s a terrible intolerance afoot in the United States, and it’s against people who hold sincerely held religious beliefs that gay people are less than human and should be shunned.”
Nobody thinks they are less than human. That is clearly a LGBT talking point they carelessly slipped in there.
Anyone here ever heard of satire? Geez.
Anyone here ever heard of satire? Geez.
So she did this and I would bet someone was ready to spill the beans on her so she is doing this to try to get ahead of the story. I am going to pray the gay away now. By Bachmann you gay B—-
So she did this and I would bet someone was ready to spill the beans on her so she is doing this to try to get ahead of the story. I am going to pray the gay away now. By Bachmann you gay B—-
This article is about David Nielson, its author. He is using the likes of Michelle Bachmann to made his point since she is the perfect shill for this. .In this satirical piece, he is pointing out the absurdities and the unbelieveable irrationalities of the anti-gay fear and loathing of the GOP and their outsized view of the power of being gay.
This article is about David Nielson, its author. He is using the likes of Michelle Bachmann to made his point since she is the perfect shill for this. .In this satirical piece, he is pointing out the absurdities and the unbelieveable irrationalities of the anti-gay fear and loathing of the GOP and their outsized view of the power of being gay.
She was in her office, why not call the cops ?
She was in her office, why not call the cops ?
Is this satire?
The commenters here are a bunch of idiots. They think Newslo is a genuine news site. We live in the most uninformed nation on earth.
The commenters here are a bunch of idiots. They think Newslo is a genuine news site. We live in the most uninformed nation on earth.
Stupid lying wanker.
Yeah we forced you to have a night with another woman by just teasing you.
Are you such a weakling that this is all it took?
I call bullshit on this.
(R) credo: ” Never take responsibility for your own behavior. Always find somebody else to blame.” (Even if deflecting the blame is stupid and insane !)
(R) credo: ” Never take responsibility for your own behavior. Always find somebody else to blame.” (Even if deflecting the blame is stupid and insane !)
Maybe she should sign up for her husband’s “Pray the Gay Away” classes ?
Maybe she should sign up for her husband’s “Pray the Gay Away” classes ?
Well, if she can be pressured into a lesbian relationship (which I doubt)….then she certainly has no place in politics. She can’t stand her ground.
Well, if she can be pressured into a lesbian relationship (which I doubt)….then she certainly has no place in politics. She can’t stand her ground.
Newslo is a satire site. She is almost crazy enough to have said this anyway….
Newslo is a satire site. She is almost crazy enough to have said this anyway….
Well, everyone on earth, knows her husband is gay.
Well, everyone on earth, knows her husband is gay.