Broadway’s Tonys Mistaken for Kids’ Choice Awards

NEW YORK – Organizers of the Tony Awards are rushing to clarify that Sunday evening’s ceremony is not, in fact, the Kids’ Choice Awards. Officials with the American Theatre Wing have issued multiple statements this week asking that “Nickelodeon film crews clear out of Radio City Music Hall” and requesting that someone, please, come pick up Selena Gomez.

“The Tony Awards are wholly separate from the KCAs and no one should confuse the two,” reads one press release. “We are indeed planning on sliming Andrew Lloyd Webber, but that’s the only similarity.”

Once home to challenging, adult fare such as “Sweeney Todd,” “Chess” or “Sexual Perversity in Chicago,” Broadway has skewed definitely toward family-friendly titles in recent years. In efforts to fill seats with tourists and their children, New York has seen adaptations of “The Little Mermaid,” “A Year with Frog and Toad” and “Mary Poppins,” among many others.

“We have a trailer full of blimp-shaped awards that we did not order,” says the latest Tony Awards statement. “Sure, our nominees include Trey Anastasio, Nathan Lane, Cyndi Lauper and ‘Rogers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella,’ but we’re just not going to give them a blimp. Granted, [Sunday’s host] Neil Patrick Harris does play very well with the younger set…”

2013 Tony Awards presenters are set to include Jesse Eisenberg, Scarlett Johansson, Jane Krakowski and Zachary Quinto.

This year’s nominees for the Best Musical Tony are as follows: “Bring It On: The Musical,” “A Christmas Story: The Musical,” “Matilda: The Musical” and “Kinky Boots,” a story about women’s shoes made for men in drag that Broadway.com says would be perfectly appropriate for “a worldly teenager.”