Burger King Baby Just Relieved She Wasn’t Deserted at White Castle

ALLENTOWN, Pa. – After reuniting with her biological mother—the same woman who abandoned her here in a Burger King bathroom 27 years ago—Katheryn Deprill showed anything but deep-seated frustration as memories of being discovered on a fry-littered, Dr. Pepper-soaked floor reared their head this week.

“I want her to know that I am not mad at her for what she did,” said Deprill of her mother. “Most mothers in her situation would’ve panicked, deserting their newborn child in a far less desirable fast food establishment, like one of those hybrid Taco Bell/Pizza Hut locations–or even worse, a White Castle.”

Deprill explained that she has always managed to find a silver lining with the knowledge that Burger King, as far as fast food restaurants go, is nowhere near as gauche and smelly as its castled competitor.

“Honestly, B.K. isn’t so bad. It has solid food. It’s decently clean. It even smells sort of normal. White Castle fails in pretty much all of those categories.”

Jim Waldron, an attorney who arranged the meeting between the two women, said of the mother’s actions, “She left the baby in a location where the baby would be found and cared for.

“If she’d left young Katheryn in a place like White Castle,” continued Waldron, “who knows what would’ve happened? I personally don’t think anyone would’ve been brave enough to rescue her from a bathroom where the stench of Sack-of-10-induced diarrhea suffocates its customers.”

“Not to mention,” Waldron added, “I’ve known a few people to eat at White Castle, and they’re not exactly the type of person I’d trust with a baby for twelve seconds, let alone twenty-seven years.”

After the meeting, Deprill said she wanted to continue to catch up on lost time with her mother, arranging a dinner for later in the week. When asked where they would eat, Deprill could only smile and say, “Anywhere but White Castle.”