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Latest Lies

165 posts

Newslo, The Least Trusted Name In News, is your #1 source for political satire on the internet. The latest satirical articles from Newslo.

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  • World Feature

Donald Trump Promises To Stop “The Crazy Muslims From North Korea”

  • September 3, 2017
  • News Lo
Washington, D.C. – Within hours of North Korea’s nuclear test Friday, it had become a political weapon in the U.S. The test – Pyongyang’s fifth and most powerful – had…
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Trump Jr.: “It’s Perfectly Legitimate That My Lawyer Got Paid With 2020 Campaign Money, Because, If Anything Happens To My Father, I’ll Be The Next President”

  • July 16, 2017
  • News Lo
New federal filings show that President Donald Trump’s re-election campaign is paying Donald Trump Jr.’s defense attorney. Just two weeks prior to the release of emails documenting Trump, Jr.s’ meeting…
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  • US
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Trump Compares Ivanka To Syrian Children: “She’s Also Suffered A Lot As My Daughter, Had To Move Between Countries All The Time Just Like Them”

  • July 9, 2017
  • News Lo
On the same day the first daughter represented the United States at the G20 in Hamburg, President Donald Trump suggested Ivanka Trump should be pitied. “If she weren’t my daughter,…
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Paul Ryan: “22 Million Americans Choose To Be Poor, So It’s Their Own Problem If They Can’t Afford To Be Healthy”

  • June 28, 2017
  • News Lo
House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-WI) this week disputed reports that 22 million people would lose insurance under the Republican health care plan. During an interview that aired on Tuesday, Fox…
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Trey Gowdy To Drop Russia Investigation Because “They Were Only Trying To Help”

  • June 24, 2017
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Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC), who is taking over the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform from the departing Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT), said on Friday that he will not…
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Spicer: “Trump Has The Legal Right To Cancel SCOTUS Because They Serve At His Pleasure”

  • June 20, 2017
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sean spicer
During a Monday press conference that media outlets were banned from airing, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced that the president was sending “thoughts and prayers” to the victims…
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Conway News: “I Am Ready To Fire Thomas Roberts For Crossing The Line By Disrespecting The U.S. President”

  • June 7, 2017
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Following last week’s terrorist attack in London, President Trump at one point decided to use his Twitter to criticize London mayor Sadiq Khan’s message to his city. White House counsel…
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WH Spokeswoman Hope Hicks: “President Trump Has A Magnetic Personality That Can Help U.S. To Find Precious Metals And Be Great Again”

  • May 30, 2017
  • News Lo
The absence of communications director Michael Dubke might already be impacting the White House because the statements coming out of the press office seem a little off. In fact, some…
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Rep. Blake Farenthold: “DNC Hacking Was An Inside Job Orchestrated To Destroy Trump’s Presidency”

  • May 24, 2017
  • News Lo
“I have a feeling that the government could suddenly start proclaiming that water is bad for us and that we need to switch over to beer, and the entire population of the country would probably start buying beer by the gallons”
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Flynn To Plead The 5th: “Unlike Me, Hillary’s Plead Was Unnecessary Because She Meant To Lie Like Women Always Do”

  • May 22, 2017
  • News Lo
Former Trump National Security Adviser Michael Flynn plans to ignore the subpoena issued by the Senate Intelligence Committee and will cite his Fifth Amendment rights against self-incrimination. Senate Intelligence Committee…
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  • Today's Headlines

Trump Jr.: “The Memo Might Be True, But That’s Irrelevant Since It’s Illegal To Wiretap The President”

  • May 17, 2017
  • News Lo
Donald Trump Jr. on Wednesday sent out a tweet that seemed to confirm the contents of former FBI Director James Comey’s memo claiming that President Donald Trump had asked Comey…
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Ann Coulter: “Trump Is A Complete Nightmare, But We’re Not Allowed To Question God’s Choices”

  • May 15, 2017
  • News Lo
Right-wing polemicist Ann Coulter, who last year authored a pro-Trump book called In Trump We Trust, is very unhappy about the early days of his presidency. In an interview with…
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  • Religion

Robertson Pleads Trump To “Criminalize Scientific Studies” After New Study Links Religious Fundamentalism To Brain Damage

  • May 13, 2017
  • News Lo
pat robertson
A new study published in the journal Neuropsychologia has shown that religious fundamentalism is, in part, the result of a functional impairment in a brain region known as the prefrontal…
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Conway: “President Trump Fired Comey Because There Are Too Many Closeted Democrat Fanatics In The Country Already”

  • May 9, 2017
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“Closeted Democrats are sort of like a mix between suicide bombers and gays: the signs are all there lurking just beneath the surface, but you keep ignoring them until it’s too late”
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Roger Marshall: “Giving Free Healthcare To The Poor Is A Brutal Interference With God’s Judgment”

  • May 8, 2017
  • News Lo
Rep. Roger Marshall
Congressman Roger Marshall of Kansas is distancing himself from comments made recently to STAT about poor patients and their health care, which garnered considerable backlash. In a recent interview, discussing…
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Pat Boone Urges Government To Punish SNL “If They Laugh At Our God-Chosen President Mr. Trump One More Time”

  • April 29, 2017
  • News Lo
Pat Boon
Pat Boone, the right wing lobbyist and musical personality has been at loggerheads with the show Saturday Night Live from the time they made a skit parodying the rightists’ persecution…
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Pat Robertson: “Obama Tried To Destroy America, But God Stopped Him In Order To Do It Himself As Punishment For Obama”

  • April 25, 2017
  • News Lo
Recently on “The 700 Club,” Pat Robertson blasted Barack Obama for securing an agreement with Iran over the country’s nuclear program, which Robertson claimed allowed “them to get technology which…
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Melania Trump Threatens To Sue Vanity Fair For Calling Her “Frosty” When She’s “Clearly The Most Beautiful First Lady Ever”

  • April 23, 2017
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Melania Trump
A profile of First Lady Melania Trump in Vanity Fair magazine paints the former model as bored and disinterested with the duties of First Lady and sources close to Mr.…
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  • Politics-Feature

Palin & Nugent Visit White House, Tweet “The Real IQ Behind The Government”

  • April 20, 2017
  • News Lo
“What’s more, I know for a fact that Ted is currently working on a new rock-style national anthem geared towards true Americans, not these imported ones. Donald is going to love it”
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  • Latest Lies
  • Religion

Pastor Swanson: “Pastors With Gay Children Must Choose Between Binding Them Like Abraham Or Resigning”

  • April 13, 2017
  • News Lo
“What the good book won’t tell you is that Abraham’s son was also gay and that that’s the real reason why God wanted him to sacrifice his boy. The Bible then says that Abraham used a ram instead, but that’s beside the point”
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Sean Spicer Defends Himself: “Gas Chambers Were Such A Minute Part Of World War II”

  • April 11, 2017
  • News Lo
sean spicer
White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer asserted on Tuesday that Adolf Hitler had never used “chemical weapons.” During Tuesday’s White House press conference about Russia’s support of Syria, Spicer was…
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Alex Jones: “Syrian Deaths In Chemical Attack Is God’s Punishment For Ivanka Becoming A Jew”

  • April 8, 2017
  • News Lo
“All this just because daddy’s little girl couldn’t meet a nice Christian boy. But, I guess things could be worse. She could have just as easily fallen in love with a black guy or worse – a Muslim. Then we’d be in real trouble”
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McConnell: “It’s Absurd To Ask Why We Didn’t Put Obama’s SCOTUS Nominates To The Vote When He Only Promotes Non-God-Fearing Candidates”

  • April 5, 2017
  • News Lo
During an interview on “Meet the Press” on Sunday, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) claimed that it was the American people who made Senate Republicans refuse to give President…
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  • US
  • US-Feature

Rep. Arrington To Ban Food Stamps For Old People “Because Young Folks Refuse To Get Rich After Seeing That Freeloaders Get To Live Comfortably”

  • April 3, 2017
  • News Lo
Republicans are constantly working to kill SNAP (food stamps) and have used every excuse in the book as to why it doesn’t work, including their favorite, which is that the…
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