Trump Compares Ivanka To Syrian Children: “She’s Also Suffered A Lot As My Daughter, Had To Move Between Countries All The Time Just Like Them”

On the same day the first daughter represented the United States at the G20 in Hamburg, President Donald Trump suggested Ivanka Trump should be pitied. “If she weren’t my daughter, it would be so much easier for her,” Trump claimed. “It might be the only bad thing she has going if you want to know the truth.” This is not the first…

Spicer: “Trump Has The Legal Right To Cancel SCOTUS Because They Serve At His Pleasure”

sean spicer

During a Monday press conference that media outlets were banned from airing, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced that the president was sending “thoughts and prayers” to the victims of an alleged terrorist attack in London and to the families of seven dead U.S. sailors. Spicer defended the ban on broadcasting the briefing by noting that President Donald Trump had already…

Trump’s Lawyer Said President Made A Mistake By Firing Comey Because “As The Commander In Chief, He Could Arrested And Jailed Him Forever”

President Trump’s personal lawyer offered a contradictory and partially inaccurate defense of his client after James Comey’s testimony on Thursday, accusing the former FBI director of lying under oath before Congress and suggesting he should be criminally investigated for sharing memos he drafted about his private conversations with Trump. Mark Kasowitz, a Manhattan-based corporate attorney and longtime legal fixer for Trump, began…

Trump: “Unlike Obama, I Only Bowed Down Because The Golden Necklace Was Super Heavy”

trump bow

President Donald Trump’s first trip overseas has – so far – gone seamlessly if one disregards the chaos he left at home with multiple bombshells dropped by the Washington Post and the New York Times regarding White House doings. However, as the world awaits Trump’s speech on Islam, he was the recipient of a great deal of mockery on Twitter for a…

Trump Jr.: “The Memo Might Be True, But That’s Irrelevant Since It’s Illegal To Wiretap The President”

Donald Trump Jr. on Wednesday sent out a tweet that seemed to confirm the contents of former FBI Director James Comey’s memo claiming that President Donald Trump had asked Comey to stop investigating former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn. The trouble for Trump Jr. began after he retweeted a message from Fox News’ Geraldo Rivera saying President Trump “hoping James Comey cuts…

Alex Jones Asks The Press To Be “Respectful And Responsible” During His Custody Battle “Like I Always Was With Obama And His Daughters”

In a statement issued on Friday, conspiracy website founder Alex Jones has requested that the press treat his ongoing child custody battle with his ex-wife in a “respectful and responsible” manner. After a full week of testimony, Jones claimed the battle with his ex-wife Kelly for custody of their three children is a “private matter.” However, when Mike Cernovich of Alt-Right recently…

Trump Congratulates Erdogan: “I Hope America Will Soon Follow Turkey’s Example For A Strong Democracy”

spirit of america trump

President Trump phoned Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan to congratulate him on winning a referendum that will grant the foreign leader broader powers, according to reports. Turkey’s state-run Anadolu Agency reported the news. Israeli newspaper Haaretz also cited presidential sources in Turkey. News of the call comes as opposition groups in Turkey have contested the results of the referendum. The referendum institutes…

Rep. Arrington To Ban Food Stamps For Old People “Because Young Folks Refuse To Get Rich After Seeing That Freeloaders Get To Live Comfortably”

Republicans are constantly working to kill SNAP (food stamps) and have used every excuse in the book as to why it doesn’t work, including their favorite, which is that the majority of the unemployed adults choose not to work just so they can freeload off of the system. They use this strategy so much that they even claim it comes from the…

Scott Wagner Claims Climate Change Is Due To “Earth Moving Closer To The Sun Because Of Huge Magnets Built By Greenpeace”

A Republican Pennsylvania gubernatorial candidate said this week that global warming is caused by the Earth moving closer to the sun. NPR reports that Pennsylvania State Senator Scott Wagner on Tuesday gave a talk in favor of conducting natural gas drilling in state forests – and he justified his position by using a scientifically incorrect analysis of climate change. Specifically, Wagner said…

Spicer: “WikiLeaks Provides Evidence That Obama Likely Requested CIA To Telepathically Wiretap Donald Trump”

sean spicer

White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer wants everyone to know that he, the White House and the president are “not aware” of a Justice Department investigation into Donald Trump’s wiretapping accusations. In fact, he repeated the claim 10 times in response to one question on Thursday and then recommended that reporters use a thesaurus to look up additional ways to say it.…

Rep. Humphrey: “If A Woman Is Stupid Enough To Get Pregnant, How Can She Demand To Decide The Fate Of The Baby With All Those Hormones?”

During a recent interview with The Intercept, Oklahoma State Rep. Justin Humphrey (R) insisted that if a woman is “irresponsible” enough to get an abortion, then she should only be considered “a host” for the fetus. Humphrey is supporting a bill that would ban women from getting an abortion without the permission of the father. In the original bill, fathers were forced…

Bristol Palin: “Hollywood Sissies Refusing To Sing At Trump Inauguration Because They’re Afraid Of Falling In Love With The Great, Handsome Man”

Bristol Palin

The daughter of former half-term Alaska governor Sarah Palin had a meltdown on her blog Wednesday, calling out what she termed the 11 “sissies” who have publicly stated that they have no intention of performing at Donald Trump’s inauguration. To date, organizers of the president-elect’s big coming out party have only landed an America’s Got Talent runner-up, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and…

Robertson: “Carson More Qualified Than Obama Because He’s A Real Black Worker, Not A Mulatto Lazy One”

Televangelist Pat Robertson took issue recently with criticism of Ben Carson’s appointment to be the next secretary of housing and urban development, insisting that Democrats shouldn’t attack Carson on the issue because, he claimed, neither President Obama nor Sen. Bernie Sanders had any experience before they ran for president. Responding to a statement on Carson’s nomination from incoming Senate Minority Leader Chuck…

Illinois School Bans Bible From English Studies Because “It Contains Sex, Murder, Suicide And Homoeroticism”

An Illinois school district is pulling one book from the shelves and reconsidering the use of all other titles taught in classrooms after a principal raised concerns about sexually explicit content. Eric Michaelsen, the principal of Lemont High School, notified parents last month by email that “The God of Small Things,” by Arundhati Roy, had been removed from the reading list of…

Conway: “Trump Plans To Sue Hillary For Bringing Dirt Into The Election”

Appearing on MSNBC Monday afternoon, the campaign manager for GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump defended the candidate over comments he made Saturday when he threatened to sue the women who have accused him of assaulting them. Speaking in Gettysburg on Saturday, Trump put forth his plans for the first 100 days of his presidency with a series of policy proposals, only to…

Scottie Nell Hughes : “No One Can Prove Donald Wasn’t Referring To Groping Pussycats”

Donald Trump’s surrogates are having a tough time spinning the recent revelation that Trump advocated grabbing women by their genitalia and forcing himself on them. Scottie Nell Hughes tried to spin to blaming Hillary Clinton for Benghazi instead of talking about Trump’s words and the way he has historically treated women. “Well, those words are horrendous. …The words for Donald Trump 11…