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Trump Compares Ivanka To Syrian Children: “She’s Also Suffered A Lot As My Daughter, Had To Move Between Countries All The Time Just Like Them”

On the same day the first daughter represented the United States at the G20 in Hamburg, President Donald Trump suggested Ivanka Trump should be pitied. “If she weren’t my daughter,…

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Spicer: “Trump Has The Legal Right To Cancel SCOTUS Because They Serve At His Pleasure”

During a Monday press conference that media outlets were banned from airing, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced that the president was sending “thoughts and prayers” to the victims…

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John Hagee Calls For “Prosecuting Women Who Say God’s Name During Intercourse”

“There is no greater sin in terms of wrongly using God’s name”

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Trump’s Lawyer Said President Made A Mistake By Firing Comey Because “As The Commander In Chief, He Could Arrested And Jailed Him Forever”

President Trump’s personal lawyer offered a contradictory and partially inaccurate defense of his client after James Comey’s testimony on Thursday, accusing the former FBI director of lying under oath before…

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Ted Cruz Father Suggests Placing Atheists in ‘Camps’

“Of course, this leads us, when there are no moral absolutes, leads us to sexual immorality, leads us to sexual abuse, leads us to perversion and, of course, no hope. No hope!”

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Trump: “Unlike Obama, I Only Bowed Down Because The Golden Necklace Was Super Heavy”

President Donald Trump’s first trip overseas has – so far – gone seamlessly if one disregards the chaos he left at home with multiple bombshells dropped by the Washington Post…

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Trump Jr.: “The Memo Might Be True, But That’s Irrelevant Since It’s Illegal To Wiretap The President”

Donald Trump Jr. on Wednesday sent out a tweet that seemed to confirm the contents of former FBI Director James Comey’s memo claiming that President Donald Trump had asked Comey…

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Alex Jones Asks The Press To Be “Respectful And Responsible” During His Custody Battle “Like I Always Was With Obama And His Daughters”

In a statement issued on Friday, conspiracy website founder Alex Jones has requested that the press treat his ongoing child custody battle with his ex-wife in a “respectful and responsible”…

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Trump Congratulates Erdogan: “I Hope America Will Soon Follow Turkey’s Example For A Strong Democracy”

President Trump phoned Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan to congratulate him on winning a referendum that will grant the foreign leader broader powers, according to reports. Turkey’s state-run Anadolu Agency…

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Bachmann: “I Was Tricked Into Trying Halal Food And Now I Constantly Feel Like My Christian Faith Is In Danger”

“I might as well burned down a crucifix just for the hell of it, that would be equivalent to what I was tricked into doing. And I know deep down that that sin is going to haunt me for as long as I live”

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Rep. Arrington To Ban Food Stamps For Old People “Because Young Folks Refuse To Get Rich After Seeing That Freeloaders Get To Live Comfortably”

Republicans are constantly working to kill SNAP (food stamps) and have used every excuse in the book as to why it doesn’t work, including their favorite, which is that the…

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Scott Wagner Claims Climate Change Is Due To “Earth Moving Closer To The Sun Because Of Huge Magnets Built By Greenpeace”

A Republican Pennsylvania gubernatorial candidate said this week that global warming is caused by the Earth moving closer to the sun. NPR reports that Pennsylvania State Senator Scott Wagner on…

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Spicer: “WikiLeaks Provides Evidence That Obama Likely Requested CIA To Telepathically Wiretap Donald Trump”

White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer wants everyone to know that he, the White House and the president are “not aware” of a Justice Department investigation into Donald Trump’s wiretapping…

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Trump Threatens To “Ban CNN’s Entrance To White House” If They Don’t Show Him Signing The New Travel Ban

“This is not me blackmailing them into giving me what I want; this is me doing the presidential thing and getting them to do their actual job. If you recall, that’s also what Kennedy was doing before he was assassinated. Funny how that works, huh?”

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Rep. Humphrey: “If A Woman Is Stupid Enough To Get Pregnant, How Can She Demand To Decide The Fate Of The Baby With All Those Hormones?”

During a recent interview with The Intercept, Oklahoma State Rep. Justin Humphrey (R) insisted that if a woman is “irresponsible” enough to get an abortion, then she should only be…

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Donald Trump Jr. Claims Quebec Shooter Was Muslim Because “Christians Aren’t Allowed To Kill”

“It’s been almost two weeks since my dad was inaugurated and there haven’t been any racial or religious murders. And you want to tell me that has nothing to do with the fact that Barack Hussein Obama is no longer president? Come on”

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Chris Christie’s Wife Refuses To Move To D.C. “Because It’s No Place For Aristocrat Beautiful Ladies Like Melania And Me”

“It’s already started happening to Chris. Just the other morning, I caught him not lifting his pinky while he was enjoying his morning coffee from his favorite ‘Trump Doesn’t Want You!’ mug. And I don’t want that happening to my entire family”

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Bristol Palin: “Hollywood Sissies Refusing To Sing At Trump Inauguration Because They’re Afraid Of Falling In Love With The Great, Handsome Man”

The daughter of former half-term Alaska governor Sarah Palin had a meltdown on her blog Wednesday, calling out what she termed the 11 “sissies” who have publicly stated that they…

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Gingrich: “Obama’s Legacy Is Like An Intercourse Doll That Keeps Shrinking And Only Turns On Interracial-Loving Voters”

“Barack Obama’s greatest contribution to American history is the fact that he’s managed to single-handedly round up everything that’s bad and idiotic about this country and bring it together during what was likely the worst period since the Great Depression in 1929”

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Today’s Headlines

Trump Compares Ivanka To Syrian Children: “She’s Also Suffered A Lot As My Daughter, Had To Move Between Countries All The Time Just Like Them”

Spicer: “Trump Has The Legal Right To Cancel SCOTUS Because They Serve At His Pleasure”

John Hagee Calls For “Prosecuting Women Who Say God’s Name During Intercourse”

Trump’s Lawyer Said President Made A Mistake By Firing Comey Because “As The Commander In Chief, He Could Arrested And Jailed Him Forever”

Ted Cruz Father Suggests Placing Atheists in ‘Camps’

Trump: “Unlike Obama, I Only Bowed Down Because The Golden Necklace Was Super Heavy”

Trump Jr.: “The Memo Might Be True, But That’s Irrelevant Since It’s Illegal To Wiretap The President”

Alex Jones Asks The Press To Be “Respectful And Responsible” During His Custody Battle “Like I Always Was With Obama And His Daughters”

Trump Congratulates Erdogan: “I Hope America Will Soon Follow Turkey’s Example For A Strong Democracy”

Bachmann: “I Was Tricked Into Trying Halal Food And Now I Constantly Feel Like My Christian Faith Is In Danger”

Rep. Arrington To Ban Food Stamps For Old People “Because Young Folks Refuse To Get Rich After Seeing That Freeloaders Get To Live Comfortably”

Scott Wagner Claims Climate Change Is Due To “Earth Moving Closer To The Sun Because Of Huge Magnets Built By Greenpeace”

Spicer: “WikiLeaks Provides Evidence That Obama Likely Requested CIA To Telepathically Wiretap Donald Trump”

Trump Threatens To “Ban CNN’s Entrance To White House” If They Don’t Show Him Signing The New Travel Ban

Rep. Humphrey: “If A Woman Is Stupid Enough To Get Pregnant, How Can She Demand To Decide The Fate Of The Baby With All Those Hormones?”

Donald Trump Jr. Claims Quebec Shooter Was Muslim Because “Christians Aren’t Allowed To Kill”

Chris Christie’s Wife Refuses To Move To D.C. “Because It’s No Place For Aristocrat Beautiful Ladies Like Melania And Me”

Bristol Palin: “Hollywood Sissies Refusing To Sing At Trump Inauguration Because They’re Afraid Of Falling In Love With The Great, Handsome Man”

Gingrich: “Obama’s Legacy Is Like An Intercourse Doll That Keeps Shrinking And Only Turns On Interracial-Loving Voters”

Robertson: “Carson More Qualified Than Obama Because He’s A Real Black Worker, Not A Mulatto Lazy One”

Illinois School Bans Bible From English Studies Because “It Contains Sex, Murder, Suicide And Homoeroticism”

Conway: “Trump Plans To Sue Hillary For Bringing Dirt Into The Election”

Eric Trump: “My Father Will Accept The Election Results 100% If He Doesn’t Lose To A Woman”

Scottie Nell Hughes : “No One Can Prove Donald Wasn’t Referring To Groping Pussycats”