BEIJING — In what is being hailed as the most clever one-child policy loophole exploitation in decades, China has made Wang Yaping their second-ever female astronaut to be sent into space.
Once Yaping’s ship — nicknamed “The Divine Vessel” — docks with space lab Tiangong-1 (Heavenly Palace 1), the crew will carry out various medical and technological experiments. These exercises mark the initial phase of plans to build a full-scale space station by 2020 and should be a great way to rid the nation of its surplus female population.
“We’re hoping Wang can pave the way for generations of Chinese space travelers to come,” said an official. “After that, we’ll just kind of push her out of the Heavenly Palace and let her drift through space for all eternity.”
Although China was late to the space race, embarking on their first mission only in 2003, the government remains confident that they can now launch all their undesirable female offspring out of the earth’s atmosphere with great regularity.
“Leaving newborns in the dumpster is messy business with all that annoying crying late into the night,” said President Xi Jinping. “And thanks to YouTube, everyone knows that flushing the bastards simply won’t cut it anymore. It’s high time we expanded our nation’s sewers into the great reaches of space.”
China hopes to land its first exploratory vessel on the moon later this year. Experts hope the rugged moon terrain will prove an excellent source of ditches for baby dumping.