Chipotle Wraps Burritos in Pages of Rare Books, Declares ‘Print is Dead Delicious’

CAMBRIDGE, Mass.— Put a lid on it, Snapple Real Facts. Keep on moving, Poetry in Motion. Chipotle Mexican Grill has decided to add an extra serving of integrity and enlightenment when dining on the go by rolling out new packaging that features thought-provoking essays, ripped directly from Harvard University’s rare book collection.

Tom Cummings, manager of Harvard Square’s Chipotle restaurant, explains. “Every burrito is painstakingly handcrafted by a member of our Chipotle crew, much like a scribe labored for years to copy and decorate this page from a medieval devotional that now helps keep the rice, beans, and carnitas inside piping hot.”

Best-selling author Jonathan Safran Foer cooked up Chipotle’s “Cultivating Thought” series as a way to provide food for thought and recycle “dusty old texts that are languishing in rare book libraries around the country.”

Writes Foer, “We live in a world of fewer bookstores, and fewer libraries, and more and more junk asking for our attention. I couldn’t be happier to be a part of a program that brings thoughtful texts, for free, to people with a few minutes to sit and think.”

The printed burrito warmers are intended to provide customers truly unique “two-minute readings,” accompanied by illustrations on cups and bags.

Customers might receive an original section from Shakespeare’s “First Folio,” a page from the first edition of Darwin’s “On the Origin of Species,” or an excerpt from a Gutenberg Bible.

“We prepare your burrito to order with veggies, chicken, or beef and your choice of a Gutenberg Bible verse printed on paper or calfskin,” said Cummings. “Guac is extra.”

The undertaking was made possible by a generous donation from Harvard University, which is looking to knock down its rare book library to make room for a new dining hall.

“Everything just fell into place after receiving the first shipment of rare books,” claims Cummings. “Turns out the shredder we use to cut our lettuce does a good job with paper, papyrus, and vellum, as well.”

Harvard refused to comment on whether the three books in their collection thought to be bound in human skin would soon find their way to a Chipotle near you.