Chris Christie’s Wife Refuses To Move To D.C. “Because It’s No Place For Aristocrat Beautiful Ladies Like Melania And Me”

Trenton, N.J. – Gov. Chris Christie on Wednesday disclosed that first lady Mary Pat Christie had refused to move with the governor to Washington D.C. should he take a job in the Trump cabinet, and that this informed the governor’s decision to turn down several cabinet-level slots. “He didn’t offer me a job that I though was exciting enough for me to leave the governorship and my family,” said Christie. “Because Mary Pat made really clear she wasn’t coming to D.C.” In December, Trump transition sources told NJ Advance Media that Christie was offered cabinet-level posts like secretary of Homeland Security and Veterans Affairs, as well as a slot as a top White House aide and U.S. ambassador to Italy, but declined them all.

Mary Pat Christie was interviewed by the New Jersey Daily and asked to confirm her husband’s comments. “Oh, there’s no way I’d ever be able to live in Washington, not by a long shot,” she categorically argued. “The place is just not up my proverbial alley. And besides – you’d think that the wife of the New Jersey Governor gets to have a say in a matter or two that has to do with her own life. And while we’re on the subject, this might be kind of rude to say, but at the end of the day, if it wasn’t for me in a couple of hairy situations, Chris would not have just stopped being governor; he’d have probably ended up locked away in a jail cell somewhere by now. So I think I can definitely hold my own when it comes to my husband’s job.”

She added, “And that’s why he’s more than better off listening to what I have to say. After it’s all said and done, that’s exactly what happened with every single position Donald Trump offered to Chris. I knew that each one would require him to change his base of operations and relocate to Washington D.C. for a minimum of two years, which is unacceptable, given the fact that two of our four kids are still living at home. And besides – Washington D.C. is no place for an aristocratic lady like myself. So, I kind of understood where Melania Trump was coming from when she made the same decision a couple of months ago. I completely get that, while she has to care for her son Baron, essentially she doesn’t want to lower herself to the level required to make a life in the capital.”

“First off, the place is packed with Democrats, which is like the epitome of slime running through the streets by the bucket loads. Second, everybody’s just too liberal out there, even Republicans. Pretty much anyone who moves to D.C. is going to get infected with the overwhelming liberalism that thrives there. Third, it’s more of a city for the hippie-loving, la-di-da, we don’t care about anything approach. And if you’re a serious Republican and an aristocrat such as Chris, that can be very dangerous. It’s already started happening to him. Just the other morning, I caught him not lifting his pinky while he was enjoying his morning coffee from his favorite ‘Trump Doesn’t Want You!’ mug. It’s just appalling what so few business trips to D.C. will do to a man. And I don’t want to put my family through that ordeal,” she concluded.