Chuck Norris, actor and conservative activist, is very upset that no one is taking his warnings about chemtrails seriously. The chemtrail conspiracy theory is centered around the bogus claim that the vapor trails behind airplanes are actually chemical agents used by the government or other actors to control the weather and the population.

“It’s the only way to explain the fact we’ve had so many gays and sissies lately who have started openly admitting to their feminine behavior,” the actor told media outlets recently. “I mean, if I was the government and I wanted to subdue and control the population, I’d go with the least noticeable option, and thanks to technology today, that’s chemtrails. Besides, I don’t remember having those back in the 1970’s when I was doing my think with karate.”

“Because, let’s face it – the men of today are much more lady-like than normal,” Norris noticed. “We’ve got men who are plucking their eyebrows, going to the tanning salon, using makeup, waxing their legs and other body parts – we didn’t do that back in my day. When I was growing up, we had real men. Hairy men were in, we were the epitome of manhood. I should know – George Lucas came up with the idea for Chubaka in Star Wars after seeing one of my karate tournaments. And the ladies didn’t mind at all. Today men have complexes through the roof and are feeling insecure because of hair. They’ve turned into sissies.”

“And it’s the government’s fault. They did this to us so they could turn us into a herd of obedient livestock. Back in the 70’s, we had rock’n’roll, we had muscle cars, we were hairy, we had ways of resisting the system. We had a soul and we were real men. Today, with junk music, junk cars, and junk men, we’ve become exactly what my generation fought to prevent our children from turning into. And you want to know how the government did it? Through chemtrails that fall down from the sky and mess with men’s hormones. That’s why so many men today are gays and have lost touch with their masculinity. And I despise what we’ve become,” the actor argued.