CIA Employee Mistakes Drone Operation For “Call Of Duty,” Kills Pakistani Family

LANGLEY, Va. — Michael Hudson, a 5-year veteran of the CIA, has admitted to accidentally killing four Pakistani civilians with the drone he operates. Believing his computer was open to the popular video game “Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3,” Hudson emptied his avatar’s arsenal into a desert battlefield. Only hours later did he realize that his computer was not displaying the game, but rather a live feed from outside Karachi, and that he had in fact sent an AGM-114 Hellfire missile into the rural, mud-brick home of Irfan Gabol, his wife, and his two young children.

Hudson claims that the missile launch was an honest mistake, and more common than most would imagine. “There’s a lot of down-time in the office,” he explained, “and except for ‘missile Mondays,’ when most of our drone attacks are ordered, there’s not much to do.” So Hudson and his coworkers routinely fill empty time with the “Call of Duty” games – except for “Becky, who’s stuck in the nineties and still plays ‘Warcraft,’” said Hudson with a scoff.

The operator, who lives with his mother and three “lovely” cats, says the CIA or the “Call of Duty” games themselves are to blame. “Firstly, they shouldn’t make those games so damn realistic if they don’t want to confuse people,” Hudson said. He also claimed that the CIA specifically recruited “Call of Duty” fanatics and used the game series as a training platform. “I actually have no background in intelligence,” Hudson stated. “I didn’t even go to college.”