CNN Declares: ‘We’re Journalists Again!’

NEW YORK — After days spent covering the Carnival cruise ship that was left without power, and erroneously claiming that authorities had apprehended the suspects responsible for the Boston Marathon attack when no such arrest had been made, CNN is formally giving journalism another chance.

Last week alone, CNN gained exclusives that were not only compelling, but also startlingly accurate. Last Tuesday, anchor Jake Tapper reported that he had obtained an email sent by Deputy National Security Adviser for Strategic Communications Ben Rhodes to President Barack Obama last year. The correspondence specifically discussed the White House’s response to the attacks on U.S. outposts in Benghazi, Libya. Additionally, Tapper said that earlier accounts of the email were misinformed.

“Whoever provided those quotes and paraphrases did so inaccurately, seemingly inventing the notion that Rhodes wanted the concerns of the State Department specifically addressed,” said Tapper, adding, “What is this sensation in my chest? My God, is this what doing the news feels like?”

In another exclusive just the very next day, reporter Drew Griffin broke into Wolf Blitzer’s “Newsroom” with new information regarding the IRS targeting the finances of right-wing groups. According to Griffin, a source had told him that Steven Miller, the now-former acting commissioner of the IRS, had identified and disciplined two employees who were “principally responsible for overly aggressive handling of tea party requests for tax exempt status over the past two years.”

“Listen to me,” said Griffin. “One of my ‘sources’! Ha, wow, whatever you call this, it is both really fun and really rewarding.”

“Sure is,” said Blitzer.

Meanwhile, CNN Pentagon correspondent Chris Lawrence spent the entire week reporting from Guantanamo Bay, gaining exclusive access and interviews with personnel who work every day at the prison complex. Appearing on “The Situation Room With Wolf Blitzer,” Lawrence described the experience.

“I put microphone in front of people. They tell me things. New things. Very exciting. I liked. I liked a lot,” said Lawrence.

To which Blitzer responded, “It’s a big day for all of us.”

Show CommentsClose Comments


  • Avatar of Mike
    Posted May 20, 2013 at 11:54 am 0Likes

    Journalism in America is a lost art. they’ll be bowing at the altar of Obama soon enough again. Can’t be left out of the next correspondents dinner now can they? It’s not just sad, it’s pathetic i have to go to Al-Jareeza and the London Times to get accurate news about this administration. i don’t expect it to change any time soon either.

  • Avatar of Irwin B. Platzner
    Irwin B. Platzner
    Posted May 20, 2013 at 1:00 pm 0Likes

    Great satire!!! Sharing on The Platzner Post Facebook ,and Twitter

Comments are closed.