Congress to LGBT Community: “It Gets Better When You’re Voting Age… Maybe”

WASHINGTON – A statement from the House of Representatives this morning addressed young LGBT individuals around the country in a bizarre spin on Dan Savage’s widely embraced “It Gets Better” project.

“It Gets Better” has seen over 30,000 celebrities and civilians record messages, mostly on YouTube, telling gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender teenagers across the country that the bullying, intolerance, and bigotry often directed at them and their community will not always bring them down, and that, indeed, things will get better in time.

Congress seems to agree – sort of. “We hope that those members of the LGBT community who suffer at the hands of others in their youth because of their sexuality will hold on just a bit longer,” the House’s statement reads. “Your situation will get better once you’re out of high school, when you’re voting age and when you can help change this country with the voice of a political vote. Until you reach that age, though, there’s not a whole lot you can expect us to do.”

“Probably,” the House added, seemingly acknowledging the fact that most members of the LGBT community have never found full and undisputed equality in America, in everything from workplace rights to marriage rights, even after they turn 18.

“Yeah, it’ll probably get better,” the statement continues. “I mean, high school sucks for everyone, so once that’s done with, things are bound to improve no matter who you are.”

The It Gets Better Project has, since September 2010, targeted young members of the LGBT community after a wave of suicides among teenagers, many of whom were harassed for their sexual orientation. While statistics do not exist for the suicide rates of LGBT individuals around America – largely because death certificates do not state the sexual orientation of the deceased, and because there is no way of determining as of yet how many people in America are actually LGBT – recent studies estimate that gay teens are five times more likely to commit suicide than heterosexual teens.

Congress’ contribution to the It Gets Better Project seems to take a somewhat pessimistic approach to a positive message, acknowledging but refusing to solve the enormous problems facing members of the LGBT community of all ages.

The House’s statement continues: “Sure, you might not have the right to marry whomever you love, you might face discrimination in your office or on the street, and you might feel disenfranchised, unequal, and unprotected by your government for the rest of your life.

“But hey,” it concludes, “at least it’s not high school…right?”