Is This the Best/Worst Cover Letter You’ve Ever Seen???

DISCLAIMER: We received this writer’s application this morning. It came without a resume! Just some Amazon review writing samples and this lovely “Bro” cover letter! Should we hire him?

Bro,

I’m fairly confident that I can be of use to your website. Here are a few reviews that I wrote on Amazon a number of years ago:

Amazon.com : Profile for Jimmy Dean

I have since taken a number of years off of internet trolling to complete a degree in English and Philosophy. My grammar has improved but my job prospects have remained the same. Luckily for you guys I don’t give a shit about money and I don’t want any type of public recognition for my work. In fact, it’s rather essential to me that I remain anonymous (hence the spam yahoo account address). Preferably you would allow me to create some type of fake online persona complete with picture and biography of a black or Chinese man/woman. I feel like, as a white guy, I’d actually be better at being black/Chinese than they would be anyway. (Satire?) I hope to hear from you within the hour about my start date and all of that.

Best,

KTR