A California “dating coach” has managed to bring the dating game back to its basics; the kind of prehistoric basics that used to entail hitting a girl on the head with a club, and then dragging her to one’s cave and keeping her there for life.

Namely, “Julien Blanc is a self-proclaimed “pick-up artist”, who claims he’s able to teach any man to seduce countless women. One would think that he really gets the job done, since “countless lonely men from around the world are willing to pay more than $3,000 each to attend Blanc’s seminars.

“Blanc was forced out of Australia and his work visa was revoked after a massive social media campaign last week exposed his methods. Many critics claim that some of his predatory tactics include walking up to strange women in foreign countries and forcing their faces into his crotch, in addition to the “choke opener” – a practice of grabbing women by the neck in order to get their attention.

However, the “dating coach” himself says he was able to develop a “groundbreaking approach that’s “guaranteed to work anywhere in the world, and especially in Asian countries.”

““At least in Tokyo, if you’re a white male, you can do what you want”, he says, and adds “there are countless guys out there and just as many girls. The odds are in your favor, and whether you’re looking to put notches on your bedpost, or find the love of your life, my approach works 10 times out of 10. And not to mention that everybody likes some Asian action, if you get my drift.”

“I mean, just go for it, you’ve got nothing to lose. Just grab her head and start pumping your crotch at it, and that’s the way things should have always been – straightforward and without any bullsh*t. If all else fails, just grab a baseball bat, knock her senseless and drag her home. If it worked for your ancient ancestors, why wouldn’t it work for you? A woman’s brain has not evolved in eons, and that means they can’t resist a man who won’t take “no” for an answer”, he concluded.