‘Dating Naked’ Contestant Gets Plastic Surgery to Permanently Pixelate Genitals

LOS ANGELES — VH1 has been caught with its pants around its proverbial ankles.

“Dating Naked” contestant Jessie Nizewitz is suing VH1 for $10 million after the cable network accidentally aired uncensored footage of her privates when she appeared on the risqué reality show.

“Obviously, I did not expect the world to see my private parts,” Nizewitz told Variety.

When asked how she arrived at $10 million as the correct sum for the damages, Nizewitz explained that the money would go towards a costly plastic surgery procedure which will permanently pixelate her genitals.

“[Genital pixelation] is the only option for people who can’t deal with the humiliation of feeling naked when they’re walking around without pants or underwear,” added Nizewitz.

Nizewitz has enlisted plastic surgeon Dr. Terry Dubrow of E!’s reality show “Botched” to perform the operation.

Dubrow was careful to warn Nizewitz of the procedure’s side effects. “Female genital pixelation makes sex very difficult, as the vagina becomes nearly impossible to find. And, in the unlikely event that the woman completes intercourse and becomes pregnant, her child runs the risk of being a beta-version of itself for the rest of his or her life, as well as feeling ‘zoomed in on’ at all times.”

After the surgery, Nizewitz plans to debut her new genitalia on the videogame “Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2” for Sega Dreamcast.