Dennis Rodman-Kim Jong-un Friendship Based on Mutual Love of Denying Reality

WASHINGTON — Following his high-profile visit with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, Dennis Rodman has confirmed that the two men have founded a caring, platonic relationship based on disregarding what most would agree constitutes reality.

Rodman, who followed up playing on the Chicago Bulls with Michael Jordan by wearing a bridal gown, attended a Harlem Globetrotters game in North Korea with Kim. Both seemed to love the fact that the Globetrotters could get away with pulling down the pants of their opponents without being disqualified. Kim, a 31-year-old who was proclaimed the “Supreme Commander of the Korean People’s Army” two years ago, agreed with Rodman on the topic of their friendship, saying their rapport was one that appreciated the outright denial of that which was accepted to be true.

“Black people are genies,” said Kim. “I am finally friends with a genie.”

Likewise, both Kim and Rodman have demonstrated an ability to seemingly disregard the existence of concentration camps within North Korea. A new report from the Committee for Human Rights in North Korea says that 150,000 to 200,000 citizens are being held in government-run internment facilities.

Appearing on ABC’s “This Week,” Rodman told interviewer George Stephanopoulos that Kim simply wants President Barack Obama to “call him.” “He said, ‘If you can Dennis, I don’t want to do war, I don’t want to do war.’ He said that to me,” Rodman said. North Korea tested a nuclear weapon in February.

In the same interview, Rodman suggested that Obama and Kim could begin to form a relationship based on basketball. However, analysts agree that the co-star of the JeanClaude Van Damme film “Double Team” is overlooking the fact that North Korea is viewed as a rogue nation by the U.S. government, as it continues to threaten key American allies South Korea and Japan. 

“I once had a feud with ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage and was married to Carmen Electra,” said Rodman. “But if there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that Kim Jong-un isn’t just a baby-sized leader of a nation of 24.5 million people – he’s a great person who cares as much about human rights as he does making sure his people have enough to eat. Not once have I heard of anyone in North Korea having to resort to cannibalism.”

According to reports, a man dug up his grandchild’s corpse for food, while another man was executed in late January for murdering and eating his two children.