NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Sales
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
    • Life Insurance
    • Pet Insurance
    • Renters Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • Politics

Dick Cheney Celebrates Opening of the Dick Cheney Presidential Library

  • May 1, 2013
  • NewsLo
  • One comment
  • 2 minute read
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION — Just days after the public opening of the George W. Bush Presidential Library in Dallas, Dick Cheney and a cadre of close advisors celebrated the opening of the Dick Cheney Presidential Library today at an undisclosed location built into a mountain somewhere deep in the Rockies.

Speaking to an assembly of hand-picked reporters who were blindfolded for their trip to the secret locale, Cheney expressed his desire to see the Library serve as a testament to the decisions he made while running the country as Vice-President from 2001-2009.  “While W is getting more of the attention, it is fitting that we meet here today, away from prying eyes, to celebrate all that we were able to accomplish behind closed doors.”

Dignitaries were treated to a tour of a replica of the office where Cheney & Power Company CEO’s set the country’s energy policy in the Spring of 2001, as well as a black ops prison that Cheney helped authorize, resulting in the torture of an unknown number of people.  The event reportedly went over well.  “Really took me back to the good ol’ days,” said Scooter Libby, who was convicted of perjury and obstruction of justice while working for the Vice President.  “Worth breaking the law over,” he added with a smile.

To commemorate the occasion, each attendee was given a special Cheney Library pin that will track their movements and record their every conversation.

The Library’s other attractions include a booth where visitors can stick their hand into a George W. Bush puppet and make it say what they want, toilets & urinals lined with copies of the Bill of Rights, and the Shoot-A-Friend-in-The-Face Range.

Cheney said he hopes the Library will stand as a testament to his belief that “a few dedicated people can really change the world.”

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • Dick Cheney
  • Dick Cheney President
  • Dick Cheney ran the country
  • news humor and satire
  • Satire
NewsLo

Previous Article
In Citi Bikes, New Yorkers Finally Have Another Way to Get Hit by Cars 1
  • New York

In Citi Bikes, New Yorkers Finally Have Another Way to Get Hit by Cars

  • May 1, 2013
  • NewsLo
View Post
Next Article
Special Report: Tamerlan Tsarnaev Wore Tighty-Whiteys, Had Mole on Left Ankle 2
  • Media

Special Report: Tamerlan Tsarnaev Wore Tighty-Whiteys, Had Mole on Left Ankle

  • May 1, 2013
  • NewsLo
View Post
You May Also Like
fun safety meeting ideas
View Post
  • Politics

Best 4 Fun Safety Meeting Ideas to Engage Everyone on Safety Topics

  • NewsLo
  • March 8, 2020
what do politicians do
View Post
  • Politics

What Do Politicians Do and Where Does Their Money Come From?

  • NewsLo
  • February 29, 2020
ted cruz religion refugees
View Post
  • Featured
  • Politics
  • US
  • US-Feature

Ted Cruz News: “Helping Texans Is Not Like Helping New Orleans, Hurricane Sandy Was Righteous”

  • NewsLo
  • August 28, 2017
Taxes in Kansas Republican’s Bill Aims To Ban Women From Wearing Colorful Skirts Because “People Are Genuinely Mistaking Them For Trans-People” 3
View Post
  • Featured
  • Politics
  • Politics-Feature

Taxes in Kansas Republican’s Bill Aims To Ban Women From Wearing Colorful Skirts Because “People Are Genuinely Mistaking Them For Trans-People”

  • NewsLo
  • July 15, 2017
Trump Attacks Buzz Aldrin Back: “It Was All Fake News, There’s No Proof That Man Ever Came Close To The Moon” 4
View Post
  • Featured
  • Politics
  • Politics-Feature

Trump Attacks Buzz Aldrin Back: “It Was All Fake News, There’s No Proof That Man Ever Came Close To The Moon”

  • NewsLo
  • July 4, 2017
Eric Trump: “Nepotism Is How Americans Repay My Father For The Pro-Bono Work He’s Doing As President” 5
View Post
  • Politics-Feature
  • Politics

Eric Trump: “Nepotism Is How Americans Repay My Father For The Pro-Bono Work He’s Doing As President”

  • NewsLo
  • June 28, 2017
Paul Ryan: “22 Million Americans Choose To Be Poor, So It’s Their Own Problem If They Can’t Afford To Be Healthy” 6
View Post
  • Politics
  • Featured
  • Latest Lies
  • Politics-Feature

Paul Ryan: “22 Million Americans Choose To Be Poor, So It’s Their Own Problem If They Can’t Afford To Be Healthy”

  • NewsLo
  • June 28, 2017
Sheriff Clarke Says He Rescinded His Homeland Security Job “Because I Wouldn’t Be Allowed To Wear My Hat On Duty And I Prefer To Be The New FBI Head Anyway” 7
View Post
  • Featured
  • Politics
  • Politics-Feature

Sheriff Clarke Says He Rescinded His Homeland Security Job “Because I Wouldn’t Be Allowed To Wear My Hat On Duty And I Prefer To Be The New FBI Head Anyway”

  • NewsLo
  • June 19, 2017
1 comment
  1. Irwin B. Platzner says:
    May 1, 2013 at 11:49 am

    Love the satire!!! 🙂 Sharing on The Platzner Post Facebook, and Twitter

    Log in to Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy

Input your search keywords and press Enter.