Dick Morris Sues Fox News for Letting Him Make Election Predictions

NEW YORK — Dick Morris, the Fox News analyst who has received widespread ridicule for his recent – and extremely wrong – prediction that Mitt Romney would win the recent presidential election “in a landslide,” accumulating well over 300 Electoral College votes, has sued the network for employing him as an analyst.

“By giving me air-time, they’ve completely ruined my credibility,” Morris complained. “Look, I’ve been wrong about virtually every single thing for the past few years. I predicted that the 2008 presidential contest would be between Hilary Clinton and Condoleezza Rice, for God’s sake. How could anyone take me seriously after that?”

Morris continued, “After Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans, I wrote, and I quote, ‘Responding to disasters is a source of presidential strength and popularity, and Bush is about to show how it is done.’ Do you understand what I’m saying? I said that President Bush would be acclaimed for how he responded to the hurricane!’ If that wasn’t a cry for help telling Fox that they should save me from myself, I don’t know what is!”

“Recently Dick prognosticated that Bill Clinton would vote for Mitt Romney!” said Morris’ legal counsel Rachael Doyle. “He’s obviously insane.  But Fox keeps putting him on the TV. Why? It can’t be because he has any idea what he’s talking about. The only other plausible reason is for the entertainment value my client provides by being the worst pundit in America.”

On hearing about Morris’ lawsuit, neo-conservative commentator Bill Kristol piped in. “I’m as wrong at least as often as Dick Morris,” he said, citing his calling for John McCain to nominate Sarah Palin as his running mate months before McCain even had heard of the Alaska governor. “I think that alone qualifies me as the worst pundit in America,” Kristol said, proudly. “But I haven’t rested on my laurels. I make crazy predictions almost every week!”

Kristol then announced that he would see if he could join Morris in a class-action suit against Fox.

Morris, once a friend and advisor to Bill Clinton, had a falling out with the former president after Morris was caught in a scandal in which he tried to “pump himself up” with a prostitute by letting her listen in on a phone call he was having with Clinton while he was still in office.

“Fox News should’ve known right then that my judgment wasn’t very good,” Morris noted in his lawsuit. “The signs were all there.”

There are indications, though, that Morris has learned something from his almost one-hundred percent wrong track record. After filing suit against Fox, Morris announced, “I predict that I’m going to be laughed out of court.”