US Ambassador On Richard III’s DNA Test Surprise: “Luckily, We Don’t Have That Problem – Obama Definitely Descends From The Slaves”

“Leicester, United Kingdom – A discovery of remains belonging to Richard III at a car park in Leicester has proven to be as controversial as it is astounding.

“Namely, a surprise came up during the DNA analysis performed on the remains – there was evidence of infidelity in the King’s family tree! Scientists who studied genetic material found in the remnants say “the finding might have profound historical implications.

“The discovery could very well cast doubt on the Tudor claim to the English throne, and Richard’s as well, depending, of course, on where in the family tree it occurred.

“Scientists were able to extract genetic material in 2012 from the remains discovered on the former site of Greyfriars Abbey; the site on which Richard was interred after his death in the Battle of Bosworth in 1485.
The news of the shocking discovery quickly spread worldwide and caused quite a hiatus. But, just as Britain was in awe after the finding, so to were both the American and British public appalled by the statements of the “United States ambassador to the United Kingdom, Matthew Barzun.

Just hours after “the study had been published in the journal Nature Communications, Barzun made an interview to BBC in which he commented on the discovery, prior to adding “a little something extra” to the equation.

“Yes, I was told what happened and I can only say that I am deeply surprised. But, if you’re looking for parallels, I can say there really aren’t any on this matter between the US and the UK. What do I mean? Well, Americans know for a fact that President Obama is a direct descendant of slaves from Washington, and I can tell you that no one in his family tree was unfaithful. See, that’s the real beauty of England’s former colony: only in America can a kid that comes from slaves grow up to be the President responsible for embarrassing his country”, Barzun poked the reporter.