NEW YORK — Donald Trump is preparing for the end of the 2012 presidential election by getting involved in more local races. The mastermind behind “The Apprentice” and innovator in the field of naming things after oneself has taken a keen interest in the 8th grade treasurer race at Green Belt Junior High in Delaware. Trump has accused honor role student and candidate Sally Smith of being a communist born in Uganda.
Recently, Trump has begun demanding that Smith release her first-grade finger paintings. “A lot can be learned from how a kid finger paints – if there were not subversive socialist undertones in her grade school art why wouldn’t she release them?” Trump said, before adding, “I am not doing this for me. I am doing this for all the students at Green Belt who may not have heard of me before.”
In addition to the finger painting demands, Trump has begun organizing anti-Sally Smith rallies. Speakers at the protest have speculated that in addition to Smith being a foreign-born communist, she may also wet the bed and not in fact own super cute shoes.
Representatives from Smith’s camp have been confused as to what is going on. “Why won’t this guy leave us alone?” said Joe Marcus, Sally’s campaign manager. “He has so much money – does he really need to scream randomly ignorant and hateful things just to feel important?”
Not all the comments coming out of the Smith camp were negative, however. Mr. Marcus admitted that Trump does indeed have “pretty awesome hair.”
Trump has vowed to stay active in the Green Belt election, and rumors persist that he has plans to involve himself in New York City elementary school elections, as well as glee club auditions in Las Vegas.
