Donald Trump to Host ‘Glitziest, Gayest’ Weddings in Atlantic City

ATLANTIC CITY, N.J.—Business magnate Donald Trump ended the tour of the Trump Plaza’s newly renovated bridal suite in typical dramatic flair as he stepped out of an ornately appointed walk-in closet and declared his newfound support for same-sex marriage.

Trump’s public opposition to marriage equality has been the source of angst for years, he admitted. “I just don’t feel good about it. I don’t feel right about it. And I take a lot of heat because I come from New York.”

Now that same-sex marriage is legal in New Jersey, Trump has taken a mulligan. Rejecting his 2011 comparison of same-sex marriage to golfers “switching to these really long putters, very unattractive,” Trump indicated that he would not hesitate to host the “glitziest, gayest” weddings in his Atlantic City hotels and casinos going forward.

Proclaiming the city “the new Vegas-wedding destination of the gay world,” Trump offered up his real estate as “the perfect place for two wildly successful businessmen or two attractive cocktail waitresses to get hitched to each other.”

Included in Trump’s “Fabulously Classy Gay Wedding Package” are bottles of super-premium Trump vodka and golden Trump Chocolate bars, to be served following the exchange of rings from his daughter’s jewelry collection.

Asked what brought about his sudden reversal on the issue, Trump pointed to the scores of gay people that have worked for him, their touching personal stories of love and devotion, and the financial prospectus that revealed he could stand to earn a “boatload off of their weddings and honeymoons.”

“I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay,” noted Trump. “Even my long-time hairdresser turned out to be one,” he continued. “After all of the homophobic things I said in the barber’s chair over the years, I’m just thankful he was professional enough not to take it out on my hair.”

Trump’s three wives—Ivana, Marla, and Melania—also pressed him to renounce the notion that marriage was between “one man and one or more women.” Trump resisted until N.J. Gov. Chris Christie dropped his appeal against same-sex marriage in the state earlier this week.

Christie’s blunt, larger-than-life style has increasingly served as a model for Trump, as they both weigh a presidential run in 2016. Sources in the governor’s mansion refer to an “evolving bromance” between the two iconoclasts.

Media critics suggest that Trump’s move owes more to shifting demographics, as his reality show, “The Apprentice,” may soon find itself broadcast exclusively on the niche Bravo network.