BIRMINGHAM, Ala. – Members of the Alabama Public Service Commission, along with an Alabama representative of the Republican National Committee (RNC), this week warned against newly-proposed regulations from the Environmental Protection Agency intended to reduce carbon emissions from coal-fired power plants. They claimed the regulations were “an assault on our way of life,” an affront to God, and an example of the Obama administration pushing Sharia Law.
“Who has the right to take what God’s given a state?” asked Commissioner-elect Chip Beeker. He claimed that coal was created in Alabama by God, and that any attempt to regulate it ran counter to God’s plan. “God put the coal in the ground for Alabama to burn. To do otherwise is a slap in His face.”
Alabama RNC rep Paul Reynolds said the EPA’s proposed regulations were another example of Sharia Law being forced on America by President Obama. “The Obama administration should be concerned about a potential world at war instead of something dumb, like a war on coal,” he said. “What we’re dealing with is Sharia Law run amok.”
“We will not stand for what they are doing to our way of life in Alabama. We will take our fight to the EPA,” said PSC President Twinkle Andress Cavanaugh. “Today they regulate carbon emissions, tomorrow your wives are wearing burkas!”
The new regulations, announced by the EPA in June, call for emissions of carbon by coal-fired plants to decline by 27 percent from 2012 levels. Cavanaugh called on the people of the state to ask for God’s intervention. “I hope all the citizens of Alabama will be in prayer that the right thing will be done,” she said. “If burning coal was good enough for Jesus, it should be good enough for the people of Alabama.”