ALEDO, Texas – Former vice chair of the Republican Party of Texas and popular evangelical voice David Barton recently admitted that humans are causing global climate change, but claimed the solution was not fewer carbon emissions, but a national policy of forced-birth.
Barton claimed that by voting pro-choice candidates into office, “…the nation immediately falls under the judgment of God as He removes his protection and whap! Here come storms like we’ve never seen before and here come floods and here comes climate stuff that we can’t explain; all of the hot times and all the cold times and not enough rain and too much rain and we’re flooding over here and we’ve got droughts over here. The only way to save our planet is to force every pregnant woman to give birth to the child within her. Tie them down if we must, it is God’s design.”
Barton, who recently announced that he would not challenge Texas Senator John Cornyn in a primary despite being urged to do so by Glenn Back and a Facebook group called Draft David Barton For U.S. Senate, explained that the U.S. Government’s ‘wicked’ policies were the cause behind the looming climate devastation of the earth, particularly the fact that abortion remains legal. “[When] you open the door to killing, it’s got a lot of different manifestations,” he said. “Which is why policies matter. Because if you take a bad policy you get judged for it on the spot, if you take a good policy you get blessed for it on the spot. I guarantee the instant a strong forced-birth policy becomes law, God will lighten up on all the storms and droughts.”
Barton went on to describe the partial forced-birth policy of Nazi Germany as one way to win back God’s blessing. “I’m not saying they were good people, mind you,” he said. “But they knew the value of life and did not allow innocent, Aryan babies to die in the womb.”
He warned that unless God’s desire for forced-birth camps is implemented, he expects the climate to continue to worsen. “We opened a door that lost God’s protection over our environment and that’s our choice,” he said. “Look, God hates abortion. Period. If we don’t stop the baby apocalypse, he’s going to raise sea levels and drown our coastal cities, the northeastern United States will be obliterated by hurricanes, earthquakes will destroy California, and nation-wide drought will parch the throats of all Americans living in baby-killing areas.”
5 comments
That stupid crap doesn’t deserve comment.
The scary thing is when you click on ‘Show Facts’ and you see what part of the article is actually real!
What is scary is that they believe that a “good policy” is one that abandons pregnant women.
This is satire, right? Don’t you think the Tea Party is crazy enough without adding to it?
satire.. another The Onion like site..