Former Miss America Kirsten Haglund argued on Tuesday that Democratic presidential candidates Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton were wrong for insisting that health care was a basic human right because the founders of the United States “were Christian” and the rights of Americans came from God. According to Haglund, government could not acknowledge a basic human right to health care because only God could grant those rights. “This country was founded on a document called the Constitution,” she said. “And it also believed – a lot of our founders were deists, you know, some of them were Christians – and they believed that man was born with rights from God, that government doesn’t create rights. Because if they create rights, they can also take them away.”

She added, “So, what we have here is two Democrats who are actually running for President of the United States, and both of them, there’s really no other way to put it, both of them are socialists. You see, the whole idea of ‘humanizing’ health care, which is something both Sanders and Clinton are using as staples of their campaigns, is actually a way to conceal the fact that they are looking to establish a socialist philosophy in a country that has fought socialism since its inception in Russia in the early 20th century.”

“It’s as if you were to try to establish an open democracy in China, for example,” Haglund argued. “But, the thing is, both of them are trying to sneak it in through the back door, so to speak, and mask it so that it looks like all they’re trying to do is enable free health care for all citizens of America. It’s pretty clever when you think about it. But, there are those of us who can’t be fooled. So, even though I’m pretty and a blonde, that doesn’t mean I’m stupid. ”

“The fact to the matter is,” the former Miss continued, “only sinners have a problem with their health. The Man Upstairs is always watching and as soon as your health starts to deteriorate in some manner or other, you should ask yourself, ‘What kind of sin have I committed?’ Because there’s just no fooling Him. And I don’t care that some people refer to that as ‘karma’ or ‘cosmic justice,’ but it is what it is. God is watching and the bigger the sin, the more severe the illness. For example, someone with a simple cold or a sore throat has probably done something minor, like cheated on a test at school. But, someone who has AIDS or cancer, on the other hand, must have done something pretty severe to earn that sort of punishment. Therefore, always try to do right by everyone, because we all have eyes looking over our shoulder. And yes, that means even while we’re having sex.”