WARRINGTON, Fla. – Two Escambia County Sheriff deputies who shot an unarmed black man in his own driveway early Sunday morning told reporters that the confrontation “wasn’t really their fault.” The deputies—who have been placed on paid administrative leave—said that the victim “should have known better” than to be outside at night, since “this is what happens in Florida after sunset.”
Authorities say that Roy Middleton, 60, was searching in his mother’s car for a cigarette when a neighbor—who did not recognize Middleton—called the police to report a possible burglary. The responding deputies reportedly told Middleton to exit the vehicle with his hands up. When Middleton turned the deputies fired fifteen rounds, “shattering Middleton’s leg and riddling the car with bullets.”
“I mean, what did he expect?” complained one of the deputies, whose name has not yet been released. “Who goes rummaging through their car at two in the morning? He should have known what could have happened. He’s black, and after all, this is Florida.”
Middleton, who was unarmed, said he believed someone was playing a joke on him until he turned around.
“Being in your driveway in the middle of the night is no joke,” said Escambia County Sheriff David Morgan, defending his deputies’ actions. “It would be one thing if this was broad daylight, but it wasn’t. These deputies did exactly what any Floridian would do. You see a dark-skinned person outside past 9 p.m., you shoot first, ask questions later.”
“Hopefully Middleton’s destroyed femur will serve as a lesson to others who consider venturing outside past dusk,” Morgan said. “But, honestly, I doubt it. I don’t get why these people just don’t stay indoors at night. That’s when all the good shows are on.”
28 comments
People that don’t recognize satire are the real dangerous idiots.
This is beyond horrible! These police are dangerous idiots and should never carry a loaded weapon. Simply put, this is profiling and the idiots need to be sued by the victim, be put in jail for 20 years. And for their supervisor, he should be held accountable and loose his job for lack of management and supervisory skills. He should also be barred from ever caring a weapon!
What Newslo usually does, is take a REAL NEWS STORY…and intertwines it with their type of satire. So when you see a story on here, scroll down to the bottom of the Article ( not the page) and on the left hand side you will see 2 maroon rectangular shapes, saying “Show Facts” or ” Hide Facts”. Whatever is true will be highlighted. Whatever words aren’t highlighted are what they add as satire. Sometimes a whole article will be satire and won’t highlight.Sometimes a True story is so ridiculous that they don’t even need to satirize it…and they will usually tell you that in the heading…
Oh really? What were you thinking, Escambia County Sheriff David Morgan? Seriously? How dare you? Sorry to say, Mr. Morgan…. I disagree with you, Mr. Morgan. YOU Are FIRED!
To all those who think that those who did not realize this was satire are idiots, the joke is on you. Look up how many unarmed, not committing any crime black people that have been killed by police in recent history and you will see why people can believe this story is real.
skank police strike again I am so over these f***ing cops that think they can do this shit. These Florida piece of shit cops need to be taught a lesson.
This article is bullshit… no cop in there right mind would be caught quoting the above statements…
Give me a break! They must have been having a slow night! Their excuse is pathetic. Florida has a real problem. I am staying away from Florida and I am white! Well be the next ones…what will their excuse be then?
I can not believe These statements. If they are True I sure as hell would never want to Live in this State.What if he had just came home and was unloading his car. Boy does he have some nerve being dark Skinned. By The way I am White.
If you believe this, you are the biggest problem in this country. You are the ones who vote these politicians in, because you’re told to, without educating yourself.
This comment section is making me weep for humanity. Google the word satire. See what comes up for you.
There are a whole slew of sites now that run satirical news articles now–kind of like the Onion, except not nearly as funny. The problem with this one is it takes something that really happened and adds outrageous statements from the cops. But the “outrageous” statements are close enough to what some people on FB and other social media sites (let alone the folks on Fox news) are REALLY saying that it’s pretty hard to know whether or not it’s real unless you’re familiar with the publication in question. Then people who are “in the know” get to sneer at the people who don’t “get” the joke and tell them they’re stupid. Every day is now April 1. It would be more funny if it wasn’t so damned close to the truth.
In Riverview, FL, the deputy sheriffs shot a young man who was unarmed and had his arms in the air. They refused to call EMS, they refused to render aid and prevented the boy’s parents from rendering aid. There was no crowd control issue. It took this young man 45 minutes to bleed to death (which says it would have been a survivable shooting). The corrupt Hillsborough County sheriff ruled it a “good shoot”. This was even before stand your ground. Hillsborough County has a national reputation for corruption. Sounds like Escambia needs to join them on the evil, shithead list.
For those of you yelling at people because you think this story is completely satire, guess what? It’s not. The only satire here is the statements by police. This man really was shot in his own driveway. And even though the cops didn’t say those things, this is still a horrible, awful thing for them to do, yet not completely unexpected. It is Florida, after all. http://www.pnj.com/article/20130802/NEWS01/308020008/Man-shot-by-deputies-is-home
ARE YOU KIDDING ME..PEOPLE..wake up..this is a satire(joke for those that don’t know the word)..IT NEVER happened..and no police officer would admit to it if it did..geesh..the people I worry about are the ones that believe this…i hope they don’t pro-create(have kids for those that don’t understand)..talk about a low gene pool..reminds me of the movie “Idiocracy”.
To all those who think this is a joke, the story is also being reported by dozens of other news sources including CNN and the New York Daily News. So do your own research and staple another tea bag to your hat.
Still another example of people being managed by the internet because, if you read it on the internet, it has to be true, right? I love Facebook. I really do. Honestly. Seriously.
This is from The Onion, right? I mean, cops shooting a man for being in his own driveway and then saying that it was his fault, that he needs to stay inside past 9 PM? This is a joke, right?
I had never seen or heard of this site until now. And it took me literally 5 seconds to *verify*, not realize, verify that this was satire. So if you couldn’t tell, shame on you.
I wouldn’t have been surprised to find out this really happened, at the least the statements from the cops. How sad is that?
lol interesting..came for the article, ended up finding one of my dads commercials. HA
Another black killed in Florida. Now the crap is going to hit the fan.
All I can say is, “so you think racism doesn’t exist?” Now will you leave Paula Deen alone!
Folks this is a satirical article about a real incident.
Anyone can look black in the dark! Watch your back folks!
you people do realize that this is satire, right?
Lame attempt to be The Onion newslo.
This a satire site.