Ford Model T Sales Spike Among Brooklyn Hipsters

BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Hipster culture has always cherished the outmoded and simple with its devotion to record players and fixed gear bikes, but a new trend among Williamsburg’s trust-fund set has heads turning.  According to industry insiders, the sale of Model T Fords has skyrocketed in recent weeks.

“It’s about simplicity,” explains graphic designer Ty Farrel. “Sure, you could buy a car with a steering wheel like a conformist tool. Or you could drive something with levers and knobs, something that shoots soot out the tail-pipe when it starts. That’s real.”

C.J. Allison, a 24-year-old retired barista, bought his Model T Sunday. “Steam whistles were cool way before horns,” he explains. “Horns are over.” Allison says he hopes to install an after-market wax-cylinder player so he can listen the new Crystal Castles album on the drive to his adult freeze tag league.

For the nation’s economists, a renewed interest in the Model T comes as no surprise.

“It makes a lot of sense,” says Columbia Economics post-doc Dale Burzinsky. “I mean, have you seen the trends in mustache wax sales? Through the roof. History can be very predictive when it comes to purchasing. For example, there’s an unbelievable correlation between the rise in Model T sales and the popularity of anchor tattoos. My advice would be to invest in grandfather clocks pronto.”

Around New York, the impact of the Model T explosion is already being felt. Ford is embracing the fad with a new ad campaign targeted at Greenpoint’s v-necked hipsters, and the automotive giant also announced plans to collaborate with Ray Ban on a line of neon driving goggles and scarves. Residents are reporting designated jalopy parking spots are now a common sight outside coffee shops and American Apparel locations in New York’s most gentrified neighborhoods.