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Fox News Calls For Miss White America Pageant

  • September 16, 2013
  • News Lo
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ATLANTIC CITY, N. J. – This past weekend, Miss New York Nina Davuluri became the first Indian-American to be crowned Miss America in the history of the pageant. In the wake of this historic event, Fox News this week announced plans to produce and finance the 2014 Miss White America pageant.

Preparations for the pageant, which will be held in March in Boise, Idaho, began just minutes after the Davuluri shocked the world by defeating presumed front-runner Theresa Vail (Miss Kansas) for the title. Miss Vail had been tagged by pageant experts as a can’t-lose candidate. In addition to her rank of sergeant in the Army National Guard and incredible marksmanship, she became the first contestant in Miss America history to show off tattoos during the swimsuit competition. Also, she is white.

“The liberal Miss America judges won’t say this – but Miss Kansas lost because she actually represented American values. #missamerica,” tweeted Todd Starnes, host of the widely heard Fox News and Commentary radio program.

Roger Ailes, chairman of the Fox Television Stations Group, was unhappy with this year’s pageant winner. “When I look at Miss Calcutta, or wherever she’s from, I don’t see America, I see the Hell that Barack Obama has created in its place,” he said. “Our show will give this great nation a beautiful, white, Christian, straight young girl who looks good in a bikini and has a talent the rest of us recognize. Like playing a tuba or twirling a baton.”

For the talent portion of the competition, Davuluri performed a classical Indian dance with mixed Bollywood-style moves. “I was pretty sure she was summoning Satan,” admitted Ailes.

While some organizations are claiming the proposed Miss White America pageant is racist, executive producer Donald Trump disagrees. “When we say white, it’s not a racist thing,” he explained. “We’re planning on introducing a tanning element to the competition, and we just need to make sure none of the girls start off with an unfair advantage.”

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Related Topics
  • mISS amERICA
  • Miss White America
  • news humor and satire
  • Nina Davulri Miss America
  • Nini Davuluri
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26 comments
  1. Sherina Slater says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Tanning segment :/

  2. Mario Howell says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    I say let’s have a gladiator contest and end this BS once and for all.. I represent the Real America.. These “people” can send someone to represent vermin fascists…

  3. Sarah Jaye says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    It’s totally bogus.

  4. Judith Grandits says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Miss White America? Why not just miss republican American? For talent they can act out bible stories! Lol

  5. Alberto Forero says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Stupid me, I can’t tell the difference between satire and the actual Fox News…

  6. Jason Whitsette says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    If u watch fox news and think its actual news ur a retard ….faux news is the most hateful , lying ,raciest ,consertive bs out there.. I want to go punch billy o’retard in the face right now

  7. Douglas Vejnovich says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Nina is beautiful and deserves the title. So happy for her.

  8. Shannon Margaret says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    I’m glad that they are so upfront and honest about being racist, religious bigots.

  9. Gary Boeck says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Miss Kansas, talented. Accomplished and very pretty. Sorry. The tattoo is franking stupid. Plain and simple. Nice way to mess a body up. A paragraph of words. Dumb!!!!

  10. Erin Jones Weller says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    This is only just one shade off of the type of crazy they would do.

  11. Shannon Margaret says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Oh whoops, this is a satire site. hahahah

  12. Linda Stemberger says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    U commie muslims r nuts.

  13. Wholly Moses says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    FoxNews… I was hoping this was satire, but k owing those asshats, it is perfect satire joke. Nothing like immigrants and Jeebus to get that Republitard blood pumping.

  14. Shenandoah Pitcher Veele says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Fox news racism is showing…as are a lot of other people’s

  15. Liam Leaver says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Hoooray for racism!

  16. Gregory Randolph says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    A Real Native American has won, White European Americans, tell you like this, just like we have a Black President, You shall overcome Lol

  17. Jerry Rubado says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Click the “Show Facts” tab at the bottom!
    Maybe people should try to vet out the truth first, before believing everything they read!

  18. Sarah Jaye says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Racists

  19. Ben R. McLain says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    I demand we pass a law to make satire illegal immediately, as I am too stupid to tell the difference between satire and facts!

  20. Robert N Yancey Jr says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    No comment is worth speaking on such a statement!

  21. Laura Szykula-Smith says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    This sickened me. And gave me proof that the KKK is on the board of faux news. A “miss white America”???? Will NASCAR, the bible, and hunti’ be involved? Ridiculous!

  22. Criostoir Liam O'Ruairc says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    She won for political reasons. The U.S. in in bed with India, and will increase HB-1 visas from that country soon.

  23. Joe Judice says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Im just one person but I am never going to watch another show on Any of the Fox stations ever again! Fuck those racist BASTARDS!
    BOYCOTT FOX!!

  24. Andrew Jackson says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    I honestly couldn’t tell the difference at first haha

  25. Laura Szykula-Smith says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Ok, so it’s satire . But what’s scary is I thought for a second it was true. Lol

  26. Terence Sullivan says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:15 am

    I wonder if this is real.

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