ATLANTIC CITY, N. J. – This past weekend, Miss New York Nina Davuluri became the first Indian-American to be crowned Miss America in the history of the pageant. In the wake of this historic event, Fox News this week announced plans to produce and finance the 2014 Miss White America pageant.
Preparations for the pageant, which will be held in March in Boise, Idaho, began just minutes after the Davuluri shocked the world by defeating presumed front-runner Theresa Vail (Miss Kansas) for the title. Miss Vail had been tagged by pageant experts as a can’t-lose candidate. In addition to her rank of sergeant in the Army National Guard and incredible marksmanship, she became the first contestant in Miss America history to show off tattoos during the swimsuit competition. Also, she is white.
“The liberal Miss America judges won’t say this – but Miss Kansas lost because she actually represented American values. #missamerica,” tweeted Todd Starnes, host of the widely heard Fox News and Commentary radio program.
Roger Ailes, chairman of the Fox Television Stations Group, was unhappy with this year’s pageant winner. “When I look at Miss Calcutta, or wherever she’s from, I don’t see America, I see the Hell that Barack Obama has created in its place,” he said. “Our show will give this great nation a beautiful, white, Christian, straight young girl who looks good in a bikini and has a talent the rest of us recognize. Like playing a tuba or twirling a baton.”
For the talent portion of the competition, Davuluri performed a classical Indian dance with mixed Bollywood-style moves. “I was pretty sure she was summoning Satan,” admitted Ailes.
While some organizations are claiming the proposed Miss White America pageant is racist, executive producer Donald Trump disagrees. “When we say white, it’s not a racist thing,” he explained. “We’re planning on introducing a tanning element to the competition, and we just need to make sure none of the girls start off with an unfair advantage.”
26 comments
Miss White America? Why not just miss republican American? For talent they can act out bible stories! Lol
Stupid me, I can’t tell the difference between satire and the actual Fox News…
If u watch fox news and think its actual news ur a retard ….faux news is the most hateful , lying ,raciest ,consertive bs out there.. I want to go punch billy o’retard in the face right now
Nina is beautiful and deserves the title. So happy for her.
I’m glad that they are so upfront and honest about being racist, religious bigots.
Miss Kansas, talented. Accomplished and very pretty. Sorry. The tattoo is franking stupid. Plain and simple. Nice way to mess a body up. A paragraph of words. Dumb!!!!
This is only just one shade off of the type of crazy they would do.
Oh whoops, this is a satire site. hahahah
U commie muslims r nuts.
FoxNews… I was hoping this was satire, but k owing those asshats, it is perfect satire joke. Nothing like immigrants and Jeebus to get that Republitard blood pumping.
Fox news racism is showing…as are a lot of other people’s
Hoooray for racism!
A Real Native American has won, White European Americans, tell you like this, just like we have a Black President, You shall overcome Lol
Click the “Show Facts” tab at the bottom!
Maybe people should try to vet out the truth first, before believing everything they read!
Tanning segment :/
Racists
I demand we pass a law to make satire illegal immediately, as I am too stupid to tell the difference between satire and facts!
No comment is worth speaking on such a statement!
I say let’s have a gladiator contest and end this BS once and for all.. I represent the Real America.. These “people” can send someone to represent vermin fascists…
This sickened me. And gave me proof that the KKK is on the board of faux news. A “miss white America”???? Will NASCAR, the bible, and hunti’ be involved? Ridiculous!
She won for political reasons. The U.S. in in bed with India, and will increase HB-1 visas from that country soon.
Im just one person but I am never going to watch another show on Any of the Fox stations ever again! Fuck those racist BASTARDS!
BOYCOTT FOX!!
I honestly couldn’t tell the difference at first haha
Ok, so it’s satire . But what’s scary is I thought for a second it was true. Lol
It’s totally bogus.
I wonder if this is real.