Fox News to Open Summer Camp, Named in Honor of Father who was Caught Abusing Child

New York- Monday Fox News announced plans to open a summer camp honoring “Marcus Crossland and all tough parents like him” per their website.

Last May Crossland, a resident of Jacksonville Florida, was caught on video kicking his son down a skate board ramp, locally known as Big Brown, at Kona State Park in Arlington.

Posted on Instagram by 13 year old Ryan Stephens the video soon went viral. In the video Crossland can be seen moving behind his son, known only by the nom de plume Dino the Dinosaur, and kicking the child down the ramp.  As the father walks out of frame the child can be heard crying “Owww.”

In late May the video aired on Fox News’ Fox and Friends in a segment titled “Tough Love”. In the segment anchor Heather Nauert read a viewer’s response stating, “I would never have done that to my son, but it seems parents who are tough on their children do have children who generally grow up to be successful.”

Co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck went on to defend Crossland, pointing out “he (Crossland) even looked over to see if he was okay.”

Earlier today Fox News announced, via special interruption (as President Obama was holding a press confrence in regargds to ISIS) by Gretta Van Susteren, that “in light of the overwhelming support regarding Mr. Crossland’s actions, we at Fox News have decided to open our very first Fox News Summer Camp, affectionately named The Fox News Crossland Kid Kick Summer Camp.”

Later on Monday Night’s The O’Reilly Factor host Bill O’Reilly revealed he, along with Sean Hannity, would be the camp’s first co-counselors. As to the activities so far planed for the camps inaugural run O’Reilly said:

“There’s only one activity. We’re going to have them line up at the top of a skateboard ramp and then we’re going to kick them down. Hard! This isn’t some wispy wimpy camp where the kids sew wallets and eat granola with stoned teenage counselors. It’s common sense. When you’re tougher on kids they learn how to overcome adversity and don’t end up a drain on the state.”

Sean Hannity too addressed the new camp in the closing moments of Hannity with Sean Hannity:

“Look some people say it’s bad to be tough on kids, it makes them socially dangerous. But you know what. I’ll tell you when I acted up my father didn’t spare the rod. He used to dress me up like a girl and lock me under the stairs, and then he’d stand on them peeing through the cracks. Would I be here today if it wasn’t for that? Absolutely not.”

He finished the show by sitting down at a player piano and performing a rough version of the camps official song:

“Summer time is here again,

Nobody wants to sweat in da-ddy’s den.

Well it’s time time time

To fall fall fall

From the ramp ramp ramp

Down here at Crossland Kid Kick Summer Caaamp!”

Upon reaching conclusion he added, “We’re in talks with Randy Newman to do this for the commercials.”