FOX’S ‘Some Sei’ Finally Revealed, Found Living Homeless in Chinatown

NEW YORK — A 39-year-old homeless man living in the Lower East Side was recently uncovered as the famous Fox News correspondent Some Sei on Tuesday. Mr. Sei sleeps in a large cardboard box and has spray-painted at least fifty statements and theories on the wall behind him.

Mr. Sei said that he was unaware of his role as Fox’s most quoted political pundit, but is glad that “at least people get the truth, the stuff we all know but nobody wants to hear: Obama’s a Nazi-liberal, illegal immigrants caused the recession and 107 members of Congress have ties to the Muslim Brotherhood.”

According to the representative, Fox News producer Roger Ailes spotted Mr. Sei outside his favorite bakery ten years ago. The find was initially an act of desperation, as the then-fledgling news network needed a way to establish its more farfetched claims in some basis of fact. Ailes was impressed by his political fervor, including his reactionary stance on Ms. Lewinsky’s cum stained dress. “Back then, we had to sound like people actually agreed with what we came up with, so we thought, why not just say that some say agrees with us,” added the rep.

Some Sei immediately began to win strong ratings for the network with his bold claims, and is even believed to have been the biggest inspiration for a young Glenn Beck. What was planned to be a temporary arrangement ended up defining its political message. “The first time I heard the newscaster say ‘Some Sei that,’ I knew we had hit gold. And in return, if he ever wanted to sleep in our lobby, we wouldn’t call the police.”

A Fox News spokesperson said that the station has no plans to change its policy, and that they will continue to use Mr. Sei as a regular source for political analysis. “Who says every political pundit has to be Ivy League educated or even have a GED or even tell the truth?” the spokesman asked. “A source is a source is a source.”

Mr. Sei told reporters at press time that his parents, You and I Sei, never intended his name to have any special significance, but rather, they just liked the sound of it. His brother, Political Insider Sei, was unavailable for comment.