FSU’s Winston is Youngest-Ever Heisman Winner, and That’s All He Is

NEW YORK – This weekend Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston became the youngest winner of the Heisman Trophy in the award’s history, and that’s really the only newsworthy thing about him, university officials said.

Florida law enforcement sources said they couldn’t really find anything substantial to report about Winston, except that he started with the Seminoles as the top-ranked college recruit in the country, and he’s delivered on that by bringing FSU to its own No. 1 slot and a shot at the national championship.

Sure, a popular, attractive athlete like Winston is likely to get attention from female students, state prosecutors were willing to grant, and it’s entirely possible he likes it rough. But, a statement from the district attorney’s office said, if indeed Winston has engaged in intercourse, it was surely consensual.

In 2012, this young man became the first freshman to be named the Atlantic Coast Conference Player of the Year and now Florida State is in its first title game in 13 years,” said State Attorney Willie Meggs. “Now what could be criminal about that?”

There definitely shouldn’t be any female FSU students rooting against Winston and his future success, university officials said.

Would-be Seminole college applicants can rest assured that the school takes care of its own.

Winston, who threw for more than 3,500 yards and 38 touchdowns this season, and thus definitely didn’t have time for any off-field fraternization, appeared thrilled with Heisman victory, almost as if he couldn’t believe his good fortune.

“I seen my mom’s and my dad’s eyes, and they felt so proud,” Winston said. “And I ain’t seen that look in their eyes for a long time.”

Florida State will lose to Auburn on Jan. 6, Winston’s 20th birthday.