NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Subscribe
NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Customer Service
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Sales
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • World

Gay Marriage Now Most Normal Sexual Interaction Allowed in France

  • April 23, 2013
  • News Lo
Gay Marriage
(Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

PARIS – France on Tuesday became the 14th country on Earth to legalize marriage for all couples, regardless of sexual orientation or gender. In fact, analysts say, the consummated nuptials of two women or two men – provided there are indeed only two – would be a new base line for regular intimacy in the Fifth Republic.

With the support of a majority of the French population, the legislature and Socialist President Francois Hollande, marriage equality advocates are hailing the milestone in Paris as a new breakthrough in “liberté, égalité, fraternité,” and several activists stopped humping their maids and au pairs to issue congratulations. André Caranan, leader of Equality Pour Tous, wiped sweat from his brow as he spoke of “France again shining the light” for individualism.

“When I heard the news, I was tickle-torturing the cleaning woman I screw because she reminds me of my mother,” Caranan said. “Her skin is like chalky death. She holds me until cruel dawn lights the mist on the Seine, but then, just like mama, she is gone. She is gone. My point is, who are we to tell two consenting adults they can’t declare their love?”

Happy (for France) gay couples lined up for marriage certificates and champagne flowed freely at the discothèques. Transgender prostitutes in the Seventh and Eighth Arrondissements offered two-for-one deals for newlyweds. One lesbian couple was gleefully providing tourists directions to “[their] Arc de Triomphe.”

Not everyone in Paris was happy about the news, however. Catholic and Muslim religious leaders have spoken out against the change, former President Nicolas Sarkozy’s Union for a Popular Movement party is unenthused and protesters over the weekend numbered in the tens of thousands.

“This sends a dangerous message,” said conservative activist Guillaume Hoche. “The next time I’m at a stylish but soulless orgy, elbow-deep in two men at once, how do I know one of them won’t turn around, remove his ball gag and ask me to marry him? Call me old fashioned, but I think weddings are for aging heiresses and their barely legal boy-toys.”

Hoche added: “I’m a sexually active Frenchman, for God’s sake! I have no interest in marriage.”

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • 14TH country to legalize gay marriage
  • Equal marriage laws
  • France Gay Marriage
  • france marriage laws
  • France's gay marriage
  • gay marriage
  • Gay Marriage in France
  • news humor and satire
Avatar of News Lo
News Lo

Welcome to Newslo! Our team of dedicated authors strives to deliver the latest and most important info on finance while infusing a dose of our own style to give you a unique experience. Whether you're looking for in-depth discussions on investments or solid finance tips, we have something for everyone. Our goal is to deliver you the best possible content. So, keep reading our articles and give us your feedback!

Previous Article
  • US

Pot Rally Shooting Victims Hospitalized and Just Chillin’, Man

  • April 23, 2013
  • News Lo
View Post
Next Article
  • US

TSA to Put Knife Ban on Hold for Now, Bans on Killer Animals Still Lifted

  • April 24, 2013
  • News Lo
View Post
NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Navigating the world of finance, one step at a time.

Input your search keywords and press Enter.