Ultra-Orthodox Rabbi Bans Women From Driving: “It Lets Us Have Some Alone Time With The Gear Stick”

“London, U.K. – Jewish mothers have been banned from driving by their Orthodox sect who were today accused of trying to turn their London community into Saudi Arabia. Community rabbis have also agreed that children dropped off in cars for school by their mothers should be turned away because women drivers break “the traditional rules of modesty in our camp.”

“The diktat was announced in a letter signed by leaders of schools run by the Belz Hasidic sect, which is a group in the Orthodox branch of Judaism, and has a large community in north London. Rabbis are also backing the ban, and one said: “It’s always been regarded as not the done thing for a lady to drive.”

The same ultra-orthodox rabbi and member of the Belz sect spoke exclusively to Newslo (and requested anonymity) in what turned out to be an eerie insight into the Jewish community in north London. Namely, the rabbi stated that “tradition and rules have always been an integral part of one’s self-discipline, and that’s why we needed to make the change.” However, the rabbi also revealed another reason behind the ban; one no one expected.

“These are modern and perilous times we live in,” the rabbi told Newslo. “Just like the challenges of the past have stayed there, the challenges of the present, as well as the future, are already upon us. Many of us firmly believe it is unladylike to drive a motor vehicle. However, there is also another side to that story. It might sound dirty or perverse to hear, but it’s no secret that many of us have affinities that go well beyond anything any woman is likely to offer us.”

Asked to clarify on his statement, the rabbi went straight to the point: “Let’s put it this way. If there are no more female drivers in our community, that leaves more time for our men to spend in cars. And that’s an ideal place to get some 1 on 1 action with the gear stick. And don’t you dare look at me with those judgy little eyes; don’t think we don’t know what Catholic priests did to all those poor altar boys! So, you tell me which is worse – mentally and physically scarring young boys for life or polishing a gear stick with a certain part of one’s body? Do the math. It’s simple.”