George Bush Dismisses Art Critics, Declares Only History Can Judge His Paintings

DALLAS – Former President George W. Bush’s exhibition of oil paintings depicting world leaders opened this week with mixed reviews from art critics. Bush, however, was unconcerned, arguing that liberal elites are too small minded and ignorant to judge bold action and that history will be the true judge of his artistic greatness.

“I’m the decider,” Bush declared, “and I’ve decided that Jesus told me to paint these world leaders, therefore, the art critics of the future will eventually deem them great.”

Many of the initial reviews were negative. The Guardian’s Jason Farago called the pieces “cautious, vacant, and even sterile.” While New York-based artist Paul Chan called them primitive and amateurish.

Some critics had a kinder take on Bush’s work. The Washington Post’s Karen Tumulty called them edgy, and word from the White House is that President Obama is a fan.

Both good and bad reviews left Bush unimpressed.

“What these northeastern elites don’t understand is the big picture,” explained Bush, “look what they said about Iraq, and now we can all agree that the Iraqi nation is a solid democracy with complete freedom.”

Now that Bush has, in his own words, “mastered being President and doing art,” he is looking for his next calling.

“I mean, I have always wanted to be an NBA player,” Bush said, “Hopefully that’s what Christ tells me to do next.”