NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Sales
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
    • Life Insurance
    • Pet Insurance
    • Renters Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • Politics

Ghost of Ayn Rand Materializes in Washington to Chastise Senator Paul

  • February 25, 2013
  • NewsLo
  • No comments
  • 2 minute read
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

WASHINGTON — The spirit of deceased philosopher, novelist and political activist Ayn Rand returned to the material realm today in order to scold Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) for recently giving the US Treasury $600k. Ms. Rand’s ranting, spectral form followed Senator Paul around Washington, berating him during a donor luncheon, a conference call with the NRA and even a committee meeting.

“Nyet, nyet, nyet!” the ghost shouted into an obviously-embarrassed Senator Paul’s face. “What was this you were thinking? Hm? You give them six hundred thousand dollars?! You feed the communist beast!”

“Please, Ms. Rand,” the Senator whispered at one point, after being followed into a Senate bathroom. “I love you, but, sheesh… I’m trying to go number two.”

Senator Paul—who was given the first name Rand by his father, Representative Ron Paul of Texas, in honor of Ayn Rand and her libertarian, Objectivist philosophy—recently gave the US Treasury $600k of his Senate office’s extra cash in order to symbolize how “feasible” budget reduction can be. The Senator tried to explain to Ms. Rand that his goal was to reduce the size of government, but, as he explained to reporters and paranormal enthusiasts, she “just isn’t getting it.”

“I guess I never realized how obstinate Ms. Rand was,” Senator Paul said, trying to speak over Ms. Rand’s Russian-accented diatribe , “She really sticks to her beliefs, despite counter evidence and the fact that she’s dead.”

Senate Security tried to remove the spook from the premises but were unable to handcuff the incorporeal being. Phone calls to Bill Murray, Harold Ramis and Dan Aykroyd begging for help went unanswered.

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • Ayn Rand
  • Ayn Rand Rand Paul
  • Humor
  • news humor and satire
  • Paul 2016
  • Rand Paul 2016
  • Rand Paul giving back to treasury
  • Rand Paul saving money
NewsLo

Previous Article
Detroit Rebrands Self as St. Louis 1
  • US

Detroit Rebrands Self as St. Louis

  • February 25, 2013
  • NewsLo
View Post
Next Article
Sen. Lindsay Graham to Appear on TLC Taboo, Admit Strange Love Affair with War 2
  • Politics

Sen. Lindsay Graham to Appear on TLC Taboo, Admit Strange Love Affair with War

  • February 26, 2013
  • NewsLo
View Post
You May Also Like
fun safety meeting ideas
View Post
  • Politics

Best 4 Fun Safety Meeting Ideas to Engage Everyone on Safety Topics

  • NewsLo
  • March 8, 2020
what do politicians do
View Post
  • Politics

What Do Politicians Do and Where Does Their Money Come From?

  • NewsLo
  • February 29, 2020
ted cruz religion refugees
View Post
  • Featured
  • Politics
  • US
  • US-Feature

Ted Cruz News: “Helping Texans Is Not Like Helping New Orleans, Hurricane Sandy Was Righteous”

  • NewsLo
  • August 28, 2017
Taxes in Kansas Republican’s Bill Aims To Ban Women From Wearing Colorful Skirts Because “People Are Genuinely Mistaking Them For Trans-People” 3
View Post
  • Featured
  • Politics
  • Politics-Feature

Taxes in Kansas Republican’s Bill Aims To Ban Women From Wearing Colorful Skirts Because “People Are Genuinely Mistaking Them For Trans-People”

  • NewsLo
  • July 15, 2017
Trump Attacks Buzz Aldrin Back: “It Was All Fake News, There’s No Proof That Man Ever Came Close To The Moon” 4
View Post
  • Featured
  • Politics
  • Politics-Feature

Trump Attacks Buzz Aldrin Back: “It Was All Fake News, There’s No Proof That Man Ever Came Close To The Moon”

  • NewsLo
  • July 4, 2017
Eric Trump: “Nepotism Is How Americans Repay My Father For The Pro-Bono Work He’s Doing As President” 5
View Post
  • Politics-Feature
  • Politics

Eric Trump: “Nepotism Is How Americans Repay My Father For The Pro-Bono Work He’s Doing As President”

  • NewsLo
  • June 28, 2017
Paul Ryan: “22 Million Americans Choose To Be Poor, So It’s Their Own Problem If They Can’t Afford To Be Healthy” 6
View Post
  • Politics
  • Featured
  • Latest Lies
  • Politics-Feature

Paul Ryan: “22 Million Americans Choose To Be Poor, So It’s Their Own Problem If They Can’t Afford To Be Healthy”

  • NewsLo
  • June 28, 2017
Sheriff Clarke Says He Rescinded His Homeland Security Job “Because I Wouldn’t Be Allowed To Wear My Hat On Duty And I Prefer To Be The New FBI Head Anyway” 7
View Post
  • Featured
  • Politics
  • Politics-Feature

Sheriff Clarke Says He Rescinded His Homeland Security Job “Because I Wouldn’t Be Allowed To Wear My Hat On Duty And I Prefer To Be The New FBI Head Anyway”

  • NewsLo
  • June 19, 2017

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy

Input your search keywords and press Enter.