NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Subscribe
NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Customer Service
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Sales
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • Politics

Ghost of Ayn Rand Materializes in Washington to Chastise Senator Paul

  • February 25, 2013
  • News Lo
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

WASHINGTON — The spirit of deceased philosopher, novelist and political activist Ayn Rand returned to the material realm today in order to scold Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) for recently giving the US Treasury $600k. Ms. Rand’s ranting, spectral form followed Senator Paul around Washington, berating him during a donor luncheon, a conference call with the NRA and even a committee meeting.

“Nyet, nyet, nyet!” the ghost shouted into an obviously-embarrassed Senator Paul’s face. “What was this you were thinking? Hm? You give them six hundred thousand dollars?! You feed the communist beast!”

“Please, Ms. Rand,” the Senator whispered at one point, after being followed into a Senate bathroom. “I love you, but, sheesh… I’m trying to go number two.”

Senator Paul—who was given the first name Rand by his father, Representative Ron Paul of Texas, in honor of Ayn Rand and her libertarian, Objectivist philosophy—recently gave the US Treasury $600k of his Senate office’s extra cash in order to symbolize how “feasible” budget reduction can be. The Senator tried to explain to Ms. Rand that his goal was to reduce the size of government, but, as he explained to reporters and paranormal enthusiasts, she “just isn’t getting it.”

“I guess I never realized how obstinate Ms. Rand was,” Senator Paul said, trying to speak over Ms. Rand’s Russian-accented diatribe , “She really sticks to her beliefs, despite counter evidence and the fact that she’s dead.”

Senate Security tried to remove the spook from the premises but were unable to handcuff the incorporeal being. Phone calls to Bill Murray, Harold Ramis and Dan Aykroyd begging for help went unanswered.

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • Ayn Rand
  • Ayn Rand Rand Paul
  • Humor
  • news humor and satire
  • Paul 2016
  • Rand Paul 2016
  • Rand Paul giving back to treasury
  • Rand Paul saving money
Avatar of News Lo
News Lo

Welcome to Newslo! Our team of dedicated authors strives to deliver the latest and most important info on finance while infusing a dose of our own style to give you a unique experience. Whether you're looking for in-depth discussions on investments or solid finance tips, we have something for everyone. Our goal is to deliver you the best possible content. So, keep reading our articles and give us your feedback!

Previous Article
detroit-st-louis
  • US

Detroit Rebrands Self as St. Louis

  • February 25, 2013
  • News Lo
View Post
Next Article
lindsey-graham
  • Politics

Sen. Lindsay Graham to Appear on TLC Taboo, Admit Strange Love Affair with War

  • February 26, 2013
  • News Lo
View Post
NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy
Navigating the world of finance, one step at a time.

Input your search keywords and press Enter.