UNITED STATES OF AMERICA – Amid the ongoing debate over the legality of gay marriage in the United States, girl-on-girl adult film stars throughout the nation have gone on strike, vowing only to return to the porn industry when the Supreme Court recognizes same-sex marriages. While this strike has had little to no discernible effect on the female population of the United States, heterosexual males of all ages and races have realized the gravity of the situation and begun to voice their concerns.

Jason Aldridge, a college student at the University of Alabama in Birmingham, said that he was shocked by the strike and felt that the Supreme Court should legalize gay marriage as soon as possible.

“I had no idea girl-on-girl was gay,” he commented in an interview. “And I never realized how big this whole ‘gay marriage’ thing was till now – but if two hot girls want to be together, we should totally let them…and then film it.”

Devastating for more than just the young adult male population, the female actor’s strike has also left adult film directors in a tight spot. Sharon Chan, a seasoned adult film director, says that the industry might have to turn to more unusual measures due to the scarcity of girl-on-girl actors.

“In Elizabethan times all the female acting roles were played by men,” Chan explained. “If the girls stay on strike for much longer, we may have to return to those methods.”

While the U.S. has historically lagged a little behind the times when it comes to social change, as it did with respect to slavery and women’s suffrage, analysts speculate that access to girl-on-girl material is finally something important enough to motivate the male-dominated Supreme Court to make a humane decision as soon as possible.